Gratefulness

I have been following a friend's blog on gratitude this year, which has made me think of the things I am grateful for this year. Here is ten that I thought of (in no particular order):

1. I am grateful that I have jobs right now.
2. I am grateful for my friends and family.
3. I am grateful that we were not hurt in our car accident last December.
4. I am grateful for health.
5. I am grateful for music.
6. I am grateful that we are moving down the adoption list, albeit slowly.
7. I am grateful for warm houses on cold winter nights.
8. I am grateful that God made this beautiful planet for us to live on.
9. I am grateful for pets.
10. I am grateful that our child may actually have a Colombian-American cousin, if my sister-in-law marries her boyfriend.

New Business

As we look forward to the adoption of our child, I am thinking about how I can be home more when our child is here. To that end, I am attempting to start an online business. I really don't want to say much about it because I don't even have a website up yet (although I do have someone creating one for me).

My ideal online store would sell products that are environmentally friendly, such as bicycles, bicycle trailers, hammocks, and camping stuff. I will probably have this set up by Christmas, but since these things are for summer activities, I don't know how well they will sell. I decided to try it for a year and see what happens. My business name is Ecogreen Enterprises and my website domain is www.staygreenlivegreen.com. I'll put up more information later about it.

Just Love Coffee

I just posted a link to Just Love Coffee, a Fair Trade online store. When you purchase from them, a portion of the proceeds will go to our adoption fund. If you are not familiar with Fair Trade, it is a practice where the coffee growers get a fair share of their earnings from what they grow, rather than a big corporation getting a large chunk. Every time you buy a bag, you will be helping an orphan find a home!

Wait List

Yesterday, we got an email with our new number on the wait list. We are now at 158. Last April, we were at 196. In July, 174. I figured out that this means that an average of 6 children between the ages of 3-5 are being adopted by families each month. For us, it looks like this means another 2+ years of waiting.

I am getting very tired of waiting. I usually consider myself a patient person, but the waiting is getting old. When we started this process, we were told the wait time between approval and referral was 18-24 months. By the time we got our approval, the time had stretched to 24-30 months of waiting. If things continue to slow down, it looks like we may actually be in for a 42 month wait (or longer).

At times, I think we ought to look into another program, but the process of changing is too complicated (we would have to start a new dossier, etc).

It is moments like this when I wonder if God's promise of good and not harm really applies to this adoption.

Seeing the Holy in the Ordinary

A few weeks ago, I went to a retreat. One of the speakers, named Holly, talked about changing our lives by how we see out ordinary tasks.

What can we do that is big for Jesus? As North American Christians, we have a longing to do something big, but we get bogged down in the tiny details of life. When we do think about big problems, it is also easy for us to become numb to the horrors around the world. This can be called “spiritual leprosy”. How can we change the world?

An important way to change the world and shed our “spiritual leprosy” is to see the sacredness in small things. As Holly said “God wastes nothing offered to God in love”. Even the littlest things can become big things for God. For example, Esther gave a dinner for the king and Haman, and that dinner ended up saving the entire Jewish population. Ruth, by obeying her mother-in-law, became the ancestor of kings and our Saviour.

God likes ordinary things and uses them. God chooses to meet us with bread (communion), water (baptism), and wood (the Cross). If we don’t see God in the small, ordinary things, we won’t see God. When we practice seeing the sacredness of the ordinary, such as doing laundry or washing dishes, we may begin to see eternity in our everyday lives.

I have been trying to change my focus in doing the small things, but it is difficult. As I dusted this morning, I tried to see our house as our child will see it. I have been saying "hi" to people on campus, and praying for them. I won't be around to see the result of that greeting and prayer, but I hope it will be a positive one.

Middle-age Parenting

Most of my acquaintances who are my age now have children who are in school. Here I am, anticipating becoming a mother at age 44. Most of the time, I am content with the life God ha planned for me. Then, I hear people my age talk about their children and another feeling emerges. I'm not sure if it is simply discontent, or wishful thinking, or maybe even jealousy. I just try to hold onto God's promise of a plan for my life.

I am not doubting that I will be a good mother. I just wish I could have this experience with people my own age.

The positive side of this thinking is that I do not have any regrets about the way I have lived the last twenty years. I am content in that.

Sad News (for us)

During this adoption journey, I have tried to find something positive in every situation. I don't know if it has affected me except it has made me feel more contented in most things.

We learned yesterday that our local adoption social worker is quitting. It has come as a surprise. So, what is the positive here? Well, this social worker is actually our second one since we started, so I believe we will be able to make the adjustment smoothly.

Angel Story

Earlier this year, I wrote about an experience that my friend and I had. It was published in a different form in the May/June issue of Angels on Earth. I want to share it here.


On a crisp day last October, I met my friend Betty at the local bus station. We approached the Chicago-bound bus, she in her wheelchair, me pulling her suitcase. Ticket in hand, she went to the driver who took one look at her wheelchair and said “I can’t take you, this bus isn’t accessible”. Our hearts sank.

In a state of shock, Betty said it was and proceeded to show the driver where the lift was. His next sentence was “I can’t take you, I don’t know how to do this” (meaning the lift). This was his mantra over the next 40 minutes, while Betty and I cajoled him into calling Dispatch and getting directions. While the driver paced and Betty sank into hopelessness, I started praying for a way for Betty to get on the bus.

After 10 minutes of arguing, my prayers were answered in three college-age passengers. Two of them figured out how to move the seat forward to make room for the chair. The third figured out how to get the lift mechanism to work. They worked diligently, putting their hearts into finding a way for Betty to get on the bus. In the end the mechanism was faulty and her chair couldn’t get on the lift, but the students continued to help. One student lifted Betty onto the bus (she cannot step on by herself), and the other two lifted the 500-pound chair and suitcase into the luggage compartment. As I watched the bus pull away, I was filled with relief that Betty was on her way and gratitude that angels had indeed been present.

A Brief History of our Adoption Story

In September 2003, we decided to try to adopt a child. We selected Catholic Charities and decided to do a domestic adoption of an infant. I told Laurence we would try for two years and after that time, I wanted to go the international route. Well, after two years with birth mothers not selecting us, we went to a seminar on international adoption.

The seminar was a Catholic Charities and was held by someone from Commonwealth Adoptions International. When she talked about the Colombia program, both Laurence and I thought it was the program for us. At the time, the wait period was only two years, which sounded good. Also, our church has a sister church in Colombia, so that connection was there. We told our social worker the news. What we did not realize, however, was the amount of time it took to process everything the Colombian government wanted. The Dossier was to include:

A home study
I600A form (which lasts 18 months)
USCIS Fingerprints (which last 15 months)
Physical for both of us (which is good for one year)
Psychological evaluation (which is good for two years)

It took us another year and a half to get this all complete, then the Colombian
government said I was too old to adopt an infant, they wanted to put us in the 3-5 year old group. We prepared an amendment to the home study and finally in March 2008 our approval came!

In July, 2008, we were told that our adoption agency was closing. We were transferred to Gladney Adoption, and it has been a pleasure to work with them. They give us monthly updates via tele-conference and our case worker calls us every month or so. We also have to do 10 hours of training to be in compliance with the Hague Accreditation.

We have spent the last 18 months waiting, raising money, praying, and dreaming about our child. We have had to update our fingerprints and I600A once each and will get our fingerprints done once again at the end of September. We anticipate the referral of our child next September (2010).

I might occasionally let you know what I am reading. Currently, I am reading Tony Hillerman's "The Sinister Pig".