Thoughts on Adoption

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T08:37:00.000-06:00

The kids have been on Christmas break since the 21st. I don't know if they know exactly when Christmas day is. We let them open some presents on Friday before we left for Michigan. We opened more presents on Saturday, and then more still on Monday, after we arrived back home.

My family rented a lodge at a camp that we enjoy going to. We were there from Friday to Sunday. Rafael and Andrea met their cousins and uncles and aunt. They were also overjoyed to see Nana and Granddad again. I just enjoyed being at the camp. There was no snow at the camp, which was disappointing, because it meant no sledding. However, driving for five hours with no snow was just fine with me. Sunday, we left the camp for Nana and Granddad's house. I went to visit a friend while in town. It was good to see her.

I was off work this week, so we spent the week hanging around the house and relaxing. I took the children to the indoor park a few times. on Saturday, Rafael helped me make chocolate chip cookies. The children had never heard of cookies before, but they liked the ones we made. We celebrated the New Year by going to a kid-friendly party (we counted down the new year at 10:00 pm). The children enjoyed playing in the hot tub.

Last Tuesday, it snowed a bit, so the children played in the snow again. This time, there was enough snow for a snowman.

The children are doing better than earlier. They still go through bouts of grieving, of course. This week, I am trying to determine which of their behaviors is age-related and which are adoption-related.

(I started this entry on Saturday, but did not get it loaded until Monday; hence, the date still says December 31.)

Birthday and First Snow

2011-12-14T18:39:00.000-06:00

The past two weeks have been busy. We celebrated Rafael's 7th birthday with Grandma, Grandpa, Tio Juan and Tia Laura. We also had an early Christmas, with presents for the kids from Grandparents and Juan and Laura. It was the first time they had met, and the kids were in love with all of them by the end of the weekend, especially Tio Juan. In fact, on Monday, after our guests had left, we drove to the park to play and Andrea wanted to stop by Tio Juan's house to pick him up. She did not understand my explanation that they live very far away from us.

On December 7, we set up luminarios, a tradition in Colombia. The children enjoyed helping me with them. Luminarios are small bags with a bit of sand and a candle. The candle is lit. It is very pretty.

On Friday, we woke up to our first snow of the season. It was only a dusting, and I knew it would be gone when the children got out of school, so I let them play in it for a few minutes before school. They really enjoyed it.

This week, after school, I have been taking them to an indoor play area. It is located in a church. It has playground equipment and lots of space to run around. The kids really love going there. It sure wears them out! Today, they started interacting with the other children, which is a good thing.

Rafael and Andrea are settling in very well. Of course we still have to deal with grieving, etc, but they are adjusting to home, school, and church quite well. They are understanding more and more English, to the point where Laurence and I can ask a question in English and Andrea, at least, will answer appropriately in Spanish.

Thanksgiving Weekend

2011-11-27T21:24:00.000-06:00

We have finished our second week home with the children. It is mostly going well. They would be happiest (they think) with watching TV or playing on the computer all day. One big frustration is that both Laurence and I agreed that we would limit their TV watching and computer activity to only one hour a day each (two hours on weekends). We seem to end up letting them watch more than that. It didn’t help that we went to the library and checked out 17 movies.

On the computer games, Andrea seems to like the “dress up” games the best. The problem is that she told me after playing this game that she does not like her hair and wants red hair. Rafael goes more for the action games, which unfortunately, mostly involve shooting and other violence. The communication is not there yet to explain why we don’t like these violent games.

Our Thanksgiving meal this year almost was a disaster. It was kind of late, around 2:00 pm. The children were not ready to eat and each made excuses to not sit at the table. Finally, around 2:20, Laurence and I decided to start eating. About five minutes later, Rafael came to eat. About five minutes after that, Andrea joined us. Neither ate very much. I was glad we had not done a turkey. After the meal, I played a game of Sorry with Rafael. It was a very basic game, ignoring most of the rules.

We spent the rest of the weekend not doing much. We did have to buy new tennis shoes for the children for their P.E. classes. Afterword, we drove around for a bit, enjoying the Christmas lights.

The children started school last week. I think they enjoyed it. They tried to tell me about their day, but I did not understand all of what they said. They are in the bilingual program, which means they are learning in Spanish, with some part of the day in English. Everyone there is very helpful. I do wish the school was closer to home, but the school closest to us does not have an ESL program. I created and posted a daily schedule, which I think will help them.

This afternoon, we set up the Christmas tree, which they loved. They even found my bag of ornaments that I hadn't used in a while and put those on the tree!

A Week at Home

2011-11-19T18:24:00.000-06:00

We have been home for a week now. The children are settling in nicely, and the cat is slowly adjusting to them as well.

On Monday, we took them to the school district's Family Information Center to register them. We had to take them back on Tuesday to get ESL testing done. They were deemed non-English speaking. That was no surprise! We enrolled them in school on Friday and had a tour of the school. It is a new building; a beautiful facility. The children will be in the bilingual program there, so they will be with other Spanish- speaking children, which will be good. I think they will enjoy it once they are there.

We have done some fun activities, such as riding tricycles to the park, visiting the library, and seeing Christmas trees at the Festival of Trees at a local mall. We had wonderful meals brought to us by people from church, who were excited to meet the children, so tomorrow when we take them to church, there will be some familiar faces.

Laurence went back to work on Wednesday. The children did well without him being around, but now when he is home, they hang on to him (literally). I will start back to work on Monday and the children start school on Monday.

Home at Last

2011-11-12T22:02:00.000-06:00

We awoke early on Friday. The date was 11/11/11, which I thought was lucky. Neither my Dad nor I were able to sleep much Thursday night. We ate a small breakfast and left for the airport at 6:30. After getting our passports stamped we checked in. Then we went to immigration. The person looking at our papers was slow and very careful. Dad and I were nervous for a while because he read every word of the Sentencia. At last, he smiled and said “listo” (ready). He stamped the children’s passports and we were on our way.

The children did very well on the flights. On the leg to Atlanta, they were interested in the music and TV available. On the second leg, there was only music. They did not look at any of the things we brought for them to do. At the Atlanta airport, we had to go through immigration again. We had been advised to take a later flight to Chicago because immigration takes so long. However, we were lucky because it took less than half an hour. We had time to get our luggage, recheck it, go through security again, and find our gate. By the time we reached our gate, there was still nearly two hours before our next flight. Dad let the children play with some of the toys in the bag for a while, then we went to find supper.

The flight to Chicago was quite uneventful. We got into O’Hare about ½ hour before the scheduled landing. While we were collecting our luggage, Nana, along with Joe, Camille, and Mahlon showed up. It was good to see all of them. Rafael and Andrea were pleased to see Nana again, and I had the pleasure of introducing them to their uncle and cousins. Rafael and Andrea are both a little shy about meeting people for the first time, so I am not sure if they understood who Joe and their cousins were.

We waited for about 10 minutes before Laurence arrived. Everyone was excited to see him. The reunion with Nana and Joe was not very long, because it was nearly 9:00 pm. (10:00 pm Colombia time). We left the airport at 9:00. Because it was so late, there was little traffic in Chicago, so we were able to be home by 11:45. Rafael and Andrea slept on the way to Champaign. However, once we got home, they woke up. They were eager to explore the house and look at all the new toys. After about an hour, I said it was time for bed. Rafael did not want to go to bed and became upset. I realized that he was not sure about what would happen tomorrow. Once I told him the plans, he calmed down and went to bed.

Laurence and I thought that because they went to bed so late, they would sleep in. We were wrong. They woke us up at 6:45 am. We spent the day playing with toys, riding the tricycle, shopping for clothes, and eating. We also stopped at the church so the children could see the building before meeting all of the new people. They were not impressed, however, they did like the toys in the nursery. Pastor Janet was there and was able to meet them.

Blessings of the day:

• a sign created by some children at church which greeted us. Andrea especially loved the balloons.

• Supper provided by Beth, a good friend.

• A second hand store which sells clothes at $20 per bag.

• Safety in travels by airplane and car.

Last Day in Colombia

2011-11-10T15:22:00.000-06:00

Today is our official last day here! I am so glad it is here. We have been here three weeks longer than we thought we would be. Fortunately, we had no problems with safety or health (except for one bout of tonsillitis).

This morning, we were picked up by Alfonso, a friend of Jorge. He drove us north out of the city, past the turnoff for the Jaime Duque Park (where the zoo is). At the next exit, he turned off and drove down a two-lane highway. We passed the Alpina plant and Alfonso explained that this area is the best for milk production in the country. The grass is very good for the cows and so they produce good milk. We stopped at the store on the plant grounds, where they sell their products. The children chose yogurt and I picked up a package of cheese. The cheese was hard and had a smoky flavor. It was very good.

We drove on up the mountains. Soon after we left the factory, we came up on a road block. It was fortunately short, but what we passed was the cleaning up of an accident which involved two dump trucks and a car. I hope no one was hurt; all three vehicles looked quite damaged.

We ended up driving around the east side of the mountains that are to the east of Bogota. It was very picturesque. We saw lots of cattle in pastures. We stopped at a small village called La Calera. Alfonso wanted us to see the square. It had an old cathedral, which was interesting.

As we got closer to Bogota, we came across a reservoir. Alfonso told us that this was the water for Bogota. We stopped for a break at a restaurant, where there was a hill that the children enjoyed climbing. Rafael and Andrea discovered the joys of rolling down the hill.

As we drove back into Bogota, we stopped to take in the view. A cow was feeding beside the road, so I took a photo of it.

When we got back, I heated up lunch for the kids. Lucy arrived and she had our visas and packets! The packets we are not supposed to open, but give them to immigration in Atlanta. The one for Rafael is thicker than the one for Andrea. I do not know why. The reason Lucy was able to get the visas this morning is that there is a student protest that is going by the US Embassy this afternoon and it would be impossible to get there. I am so glad she was able to get it!

Visa Applications

2011-11-09T21:02:00.001-06:00

This morning, we applied for the visas at the American embassy. We will pick them up tomorrow after 3:00.

The children are excited and a bit nervous about leaving for the US. I hope we can give them reassurance and a sense of peace. I know that with God's help we will.

I just looked back on my earlier posts and realized that I forgot to mention the countryside of Sucre (the department that Sincelejo is the capital of). With its humidity, palm trees, grasslands, cow pastures and distant mountains, it reminds me of the area around Macondo, the town in One Hundred Years of Solitude. I think that Gabriel Garcia Marquez had Sucre in mind when he wrote that story.

Passports

2011-11-08T17:27:00.000-06:00

This morning we left at 7:55 for the airport to get the documents that we need for the passports and visas. Because of traffic, it took more than ½ hour to get there. We did not arrive at the passport office until 9:45. The children were glad to stretch their legs. We needed to get a number for waiting in line, which Juliet got. Then we went upstairs to get the passports.

Finally, around 10:00, we met the person who would prepare the passports. The lady looked at the documents and then wondered why my mother’s maiden name was not on my passport and it was on the other documents. I pulled out the copy of my birth certificate which ICBF in Sincelejo had faxed over, but she was not interested in seeing it. Instead, we had to wait for about 20 minutes before a lawyer came in and explained to her that in Colombia, it is the law that my mother’s maiden name be on the documents, but it is not used in the US. (I was afraid they would tell me to go home to get another passport.) She was finally satisfied and then processed the paperwork.

We were told the passports would take twenty minutes. They did not take that long. Tomorrow, we go apply for visas because we were not able to do that today. I am glad the end is in sight.

Church and Earrings

2011-11-06T21:04:00.000-06:00

Today we went to church. I knew I was missing church, but I did not realize how much until I heard the singing. This was an Evangelical church, which means lots of singing and a long sermon. When I left, I realized I felt as if I had had a drink of water after five weeks in a desert. I really felt the Spirit in there, especially during the singing.

The sermon, what I understood of it, was helpful also. My favorite Psalm of the day is number 37. I needed to hear it on Friday. The sermon was a series of questions, one of them being “Why Me”. The pastor said that perhaps things happen to us to make us stronger and better able to help other people in the future.

The children did very well during the long service. I was very impressed.

This afternoon, I took Andrea to the Unicentro Mall to buy some earrings for her. She has been having problems with infections with the earrings she came with. We walked around for awhile, not finding any stores with earrings, except for one place that had a pair for about $50. After leaving that store, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and bought a donut for Andrea and drinks for both of us. When we were done, I decided to try the Artisan store. We walked in, and found some earrings at a reasonable price. Andrea picked out a silver pair with a red heart. I picked a pair in the shape of coffee beans. I also found a Colombian spoon.

When we got home, I cleaned the earrings and then put them on Andrea. The first one went on just fine. As I was preparing to put in the second one, I dropped the back of the earring. I used the back from one of my earrings and it seemed to work. A few hours later, Andrea came in complaining that one of the earrings was going to fall off. I tried to tighten it (the backs screw onto the posts), but it wouldn’t tighten. Andrea wanted me to tighten the other one, but when I did, she said it hurt. We took out the earrings and it turns out the infection was worse. It probably never went away and the earrings just irritated it. Fortunately, there are women here who know how to take care of it.

Bomberos

2011-11-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

After lunch today, we and another family took two taxis to a fire station. Adam, the other father, used to be a firefighter and wanted to go exchange some shirts. (He collects shirts from fire stations around the world.) The traffic was very heavy and it was raining. Granddad and the girls got into the first taxi. About 10 minutes later, we caught the second taxi. Our driver drove as far as he could through side streets, avoiding the traffic. He did pretty well, until one corner where he was trying to turn right from the left lane, a car was trying to turn into the lane we were in, and the cars in the street we were turning onto were not moving. Talk about gridlock.

It turned out that we got to the fire station about 5 or so minutes before the first taxi. Adam was very pleased with the tour and impressed with the station. The children enjoyed climbing into the fire engines, but they were rather bored with the rest of the tour.

The package I was expecting today did not arrive. Betty suggested I call Lucy to get the tracking number. I got it, but because Rafael was on the computer, I did not check it until 4:30. I noticed that the address they had was wrong. I called Lucy to tell her. It was too late for her to go to the place to pick up the documents. Juliet will pick them up Tuesday morning. I hope we can still get the passports and the visa applications done on Tuesday.

Tomorrow, we may be going to church with another family who is here. I am looking forward to it.

Here are some pictures of the day.

Documents

2011-11-04T19:05:00.000-05:00

Today was the day we were supposed to get the children's passports. However, we had more delays, of course. This morning, we took the birth certificates to the passport office to get the passports. Once there, they would not accept one because it was too light and they did not accept the other because the passport numbers of Laurence and myself were not on it. We called Sincelejo and asked that they resend the one that was too light and redo the other.

At noon, we got the new copies via fax. The one that was too light was now readable, however, the passport numbers of Laurence and me (which were correct on the first copy) were now switched. The one with no passport numbers now had them, but listed Laurence and I as Colombian citizens. We finally received the newly corrected birth certificates after 3:00.

Because Monday is a holiday, we will not be able to get the passports until Tuesday. Any ideas of what to do in Bogota over the weekend?

Documents

2011-11-03T21:30:00.000-05:00

Our documents are here. They arrived by airplane this afternoon and because of traffic, the person who picked them up did not arrive at Betty's Place until 6:50. Lucy was already here, waiting. We looked over the documents and she helped me get them sorted for the various entities that need them. Now, it feels official - we have the Sentencia (all names spelled correctly) and the new birth certificates.

Tomorrow, we will leave at 7:30 am to go to the passport office. We will need to wait for an hour or two for the passports, and then head to the embassy for the visa applications. The visa office closes at 11:00 am, so we are hoping we can get this done. If we can get the application in by 11:00, then we can pick up the visas on Monday and fly out on Tuesday.

I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control here and everything is out of my hands. I find that I am less stressed and less disappointed when I remind myself of this.

Sentencia

2011-11-02T22:18:00.001-05:00

This has been a long two days. Yesterday I flew to Sincelejo (actually Corozal) to sign the Sentencia. Rafael the driver got me to the hotel around 2:15, where Carmen met us. I stayed at Hotel Boston, which is a nicer hotel than the other one we stayed at in Sincelejo, but the location would have been worse for the children than the other. We would have had long walks to the Exito, etc.

Anyway, after I checked in, Carmen had to run an errand, so I got settled. She picked me up around 2:45 and took me to the courthouse. We had to park several blocks away and walk. As we were walking, Maira, our lawyer, saw us while she was in a taxi. She said she was going to ICBF to get a signature. We walked to the courthouse and waited for about 45 minutes. Finally, Carmen was tired of waiting and called Maira. Maira was downstairs in the registrar’s office.

I signed the paper of Sentencia on the back side of the page and then Carmen turned the page to the front side. I saw our names and immediately saw that my middle name was spelled wrong. We leafed through the other pages and I noticed that my mom’s maiden name, which has become attached to my name here, was spelled incorrectly as well. The mistakes were easy to fix but because the signatures were on the back side of the page, everyone had to sign it again. This meant taking the whole package to ICBF one more time.

This morning, Maira was to go to Sampues for the new birth certificates. It turns out that the children’s birth certificates were in two places: the notary and the civil registrar. The ones at the notary were easy to get. The civil registrar was closed because of election recounts. Maira, the head of ICBF in Sincelejo, and perhaps Carmen went to the civil registrar to beg and plead to get the new certificates (the person in charge wanted to wait until next Tuesday). Finally, they were allowed to get the new birth certificates, but then the printer broke so they had to wait for that to be fixed.

They let me go back to Bogota and will try to send the whole package tomorrow. Lunch: the restaurant opened for lunch at 12:00 and Rafael was coming at 12:30. I packed my stuff and went downstairs and told them I needed to leave in 20 minutes. I ordered a sandwich and some fruit. Rafael pulled up as I was trying to pay the bill of 6300 pesos. I gave the waiter a 10,000 peso note and asked for change. He could not find change, so I told him to keep it (thinking it would be a tip). As I was paying for my hotel bill, I noticed that my lunch was on the bill. I told the manager that I had already paid my lunch with cash. Fortunately, the head waiter gave me back the 10,000 note.

On the way to the airport, at the toll booth, Rafael asked me for money for the toll. I gave him the 10,000 note. He wanted to call Carmen to tell her that I had given it to him, so she could pay me back. However, I told him it was a gift from me to him. I decided I would rather pay for Rafael’s tolls than give a tip of 10,000 pesos for a 6300 peso lunch!

Patricia picked me up at the airport and drove me back to Betty’s Place, where we picked up the children, Lucy, and Juliet for their doctor appointment. By the time he was ready to give them the exams, it was past 5:30. He said that both of them are at the right weight and height for their ages, which is good. Because of traffic, we got home around 7. Dad pulled out fixings for sandwiches and the kids also had Jello.

We are hoping that the package gets here tomorrow morning. Then we can get passports and visas. Lucy is calling someone she knows to ask if the visa office can stay open until 3:00 pm tomorrow for us. I hope so.

Maloka

2011-10-30T21:55:00.000-05:00

Today, we went to Maloka. Maloka is a science center for children. There was a jeep which was hooked up to a pulley and you could pull the pulley and lift the jeep. There was a section about dinosaurs. It included opportunities for the children to touch and see things such as a turtle shell and crocodile skin.

The favorite place for Andrea was a room for children ages 6 and under. It had mirrors, weight scales, mats for tumbling, and two computers with children’s games (one was for learning English). Rafael and Andrea spent a lot of time playing on these computers.

Another activity that Andrea enjoyed was sending messages via satellite. There were about six small computers numbered with ones and zeros. The object was to type in your number and a destination number (another computer) and then type a message and send it. The message was then sent via a small satellite to the other computer. It was interesting.

There were other exhibits which the children looked at. This was a neat place, but it was a little over the heads of Rafael and Andrea. I think they need to be a little older and have more schooling before they can enjoy a place like this.

I had some connection problems last night, so I was unable to upload photos from the Museo de los Ninos. Here are some of my favorites:

Museo de los Ninos

2011-10-30T12:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning, we took a taxi to the Children’s Museum. Being a Saturday, I thought it was going to be crowded, but it was not.

We got there around 11:30 and the workers there found an employee who spoke English. He suggested we pay to watch a puppet show, which had already started, then have lunch, then pay for a tour of the museum.

The puppet show was different than what I have seen before. The puppeteer was on stage with the puppet, in fact, he was more like a ventriloquist. He had a helper who changed the scenes. Because we came in late, it took a while for me to figure out that the play was about garbage. The puppet (I could not tell if it was meant to be a queen or king), kept running into trash – he went fishing and caught trash, then he went to the beach and swam around trash, he went to bed and dreamed about trash. At the end, he decided that it was better to keep the world clean.

After a lunch of sandwiches and yogurt drinks, Granddad went to pay for the tickets for the tour. Then we had to wait until 1:30. At that time, the employees had the children and their parents line up by ages. We were with the group that was ages 6 and younger. There were 10-12 children in our group and about twice as many adults. Because Halloween is on Monday, the employees, most of them looked about college age, were dressed in costumes. Before the tour, we watched what was apparently a costume contest, because at the end, prizes were handed out.

We began the tour about 15 minutes late. The tour theme for this age group was nutrition. The person who led it was very good at keeping the children in motion. As we walked, he had them skip, hop, walk backwards, and scoot. First, we went to a room with large replicas of food. There was a carton of milk with the milk “pouring” out of it, in the form of a slide, with “chocolate” balls at the bottom. There was a piece of cheese and a fish, both of which could be entered. There was also a bowl of fruit and vegetables which included a celery-stalk slide. At each of these stations, the leader explained how each type of food was good for the body.

After the food room, our guide took us to a large mouth, with a full set of teeth. We were able to sit inside the mouth, where talked about brushing teeth. He showed a video which told the children the importance of brushing. He also had a young visitor come up and demonstrate brushing with a very large brush. I think this segment made an impact on Andrea, because tonight, she brushed her teeth very well and then went to the mirror to look at them.

The last place we went was where we talked about the senses. There were fun mirrors (where some mirrors make you look short, etc). There was a room for touching material, and another for seeing. There was a room for sound, which included a “piano keyboard”. When you walked on this keyboard, notes would play.

When this tour was over, we went outside to an old train. Rafael and Andrea enjoyed climbing on the engine. By the time we were done, it was 3:30, so we decided to take a taxi home.

We must have worn out the children. We got home around 4:00 and they did not want to do much. Rafael moped around because I would not let him play on the computer. I read Andrea a story and then she put her head in my lap and went to sleep. About ½ hour later, Rafael came in, took his shoes off, and crawled up onto the couch. A few minutes later, he, too, was asleep. They both slept for about 40 minutes.

Froggyland

2011-10-28T21:38:00.000-05:00

Yes, there actually is a place for children in Bogota called Froggyland. Froggyland is located in a warehouse and has five bounce houses. At first, Dad and I were concerned that they would be bored and ready to leave in less than an hour, but the bounce houses kept their interest for more than three hours, with breaks for bathroom and snacks. The children enjoyed bouncing and sliding. Andrea found a balloon which she tossed to Granddad and I. I think we wore them out.

One of the bounce houses is shaped like a truck. The other four are various slides and climbing areas.

These pictures are not the best I have taken. It is hard to take good pictures of moving children!

We learned today two things today: November 7 is a holiday, so if we cannot apply for our visas until Friday, we will not be able to pick them up until Tuesday the 8th. We also learned that we may be able to get the children's physicals done on Monday the 31st. If we can, we might be able to get everything done on Thursday that needs to be done, and get the visas on Friday and then fly home next weekend. Please pray that we will be able to leave sooner rather than later.

Afternoon at the Parks

2011-10-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

We spent the morning at the house. This afternoon, we went to a park that Granddad had found last week. It took about 20 minutes to get there and the children enjoyed playing there for about ½ hour. Then, it began to rain. We thought the rain would get worse, so we left the park and headed home a different way. Of course, as we were on our way, the rain stopped and the sun came out.

The route we took to go home followed a small river from the mountains. Along this river is a linear park with a series of playgrounds. We had been there before with the children, so they recognized it. They wanted to stop and play on all the equipment. Soon, Andrea said she needed to use the bathroom and since there were none at the park, I walked with her to Betty’s Place (the B&B we are calling home in Bogota).

When we got there, I realized that Rosita, Andrea’s doll, was missing a shoe. Andrea wanted to go back to look for it, so we retraced our steps to the place where I remember seeing both shoes. We could not find a shoe. I told Andrea that it might be in the jacket I had also been carrying, so we headed back once again to Betty’s Place. Now, to get from the park to Betty’s Place, we must walk past a block of apartments, then cross a four-lane road, and then walk another two blocks. As we approached the busy street, what did I see, but Rosita’s shoe! Andrea happily put the shoe back on and then decided that she wanted to play in the park some more. We spent about another ½ hour on the merry-go-rounds and swings. Finally, I said I needed to get a drink of water and we headed home once more.

Rafael was watching the Wizard of Oz when we returned. Andrea wanted to see it also, so I let her. I went outside to do some jump roping. I had planned on 10 minutes, but stopped after five. I was tired from the walking, the altitude, and it was the first aerobic exercise I had done since mid-September.

I did not take my camera to the park, so I have no pictures today.

Morning Saga

2011-10-25T22:08:00.000-05:00

This is the story of getting Andrea's x-ray.

I woke up at 5:30, did some yoga, dressed and ate a small piece of coffee cake and raisins. At 6:10, my dad carried Andrea into the living room (she is currently sharing with Rafael), and I got her dressed. We were told not to give her breakfast. The car arrived at 6:30 and it was a 25-30 minute drive through neighborhoods I have not been to yet. Our Bogota contact had to leave this morning for a brief visit to the States (on the same flight as my mom), so her assistant Juliet was with us.

When we got to the place that takes the x-rays, we were stopped at the door and told that Andrea needed a photo. We were directed to a nearby Kodak shop, but had to wait for our driver because he had already left. We got to the photo place and had the photo taken by 7:45 am. We waited for 15 minutes for the pictures to get processed (they were passport-size). We drove back to the x-ray place and waited some more. There was an adopting family there ahead of us who we saw at the TB clinic. I talked to them while we were waiting. They are from St. Louis.

Andrea had her x-ray taken after their two children and then we waited for about five more minutes for the radiologists to check it. She had to get it taken again, I do not know why. The second x-ray was fine. We had to wait some more for our driver. We finally made it back to the house around 9:45. I ate some fruit and Andrea wanted an egg. I had taken some Coco Puffs with me for Andrea to eat after the x-ray, so she was not totally starving.

We will not know the results of the x-ray until the medical exam at the very end of this trip. They were sent directly to the embassy doctor.

We learned today that Sentencia is not until next Tuesday (a week from today). Apparently there is an election in Sincelejo on Sunday and the judge needs to be involved with that. My dad and I are very disappointed. I bought the tickets to return to Sincelejo on Tuesday and return on Wednesday.

The Last Day with Nana

2011-10-24T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day for the most part. The children woke up happy and played nicely together. It was sunny in the morning, so we played outside for most of the time.

In the afternoon, Lucy picked us up to go get the TB results read. Rafael’s result was good (below 10 mm), but Andrea’s was 11 mm, which means that tomorrow she has to go in for a chest x-ray. Hopefully that will be negative. They have not told us what happens if it is positive.

After getting back from the doctor, I let the children watch the Wizard of Oz again. Rafael wanted to play games on the computer and I found a few that he enjoyed. After the movie, we played some more games. I found a Pac Man-type game which Rafael especially liked.

I learned today that Andrea has nits. We had been told before coming here to expect lice, so I was not surprised. However, apparently the over the counter products we brought with us do not work on Colombian lice, so a hairdresser is coming tomorrow for a treatment. I think I will have her check me as well since Andrea and I have been using the same comb.

We had an early supper (only four hours or so after our lunch) so none of us were very hungry. I told Betty why we were not eating and she told the cooks to please have supper for us at 6:00 pm rather than 5:00 pm.

After supper, I let the kids play more computer games. I found an online puzzle, which first Rafael and then Andrea completed. When the puzzle was finished, it was obvious that Rafael needed time alone. This has happened occasionally, but is getting less frequent. I think that part of the problem is that he is grieving over his losses and he is still uncertain about the future.

Tomorrow, Nana is leaving. We will all miss her.

Bogota Park

2011-10-22T22:12:00.000-05:00

Today, we took the children to a park that was about a twenty minute walk from Betty’s Place. No dogs are allowed in this park, so we could run around on the grass with a soccer ball. There was also a playground, which the children enjoyed. We were there for more than two hours, including eating the picnic lunch.

After we got back, the children had a snack of applesauce and then I let them watch cartoons on TV. At supper, Granddad asked them what they liked about the park. Rafael said he didn’t like it. I think he liked the park, just not the walk there and back.

This park has a library! There are 300 titles available, including children's books. It is open only Thursday through Sunday and for limited hours each day. This picture is the library when it is closed.

I may not write on this blog every day because we are still waiting for Sentencia. It would be boring to read. I'll post when there is news.

TB Tests

2011-10-21T21:45:00.000-05:00

Last week we learned that we could get the children’s TB tests done with copies of their original birth certificates and then have the results transcribed later to the new ones. We were reminded of this yesterday. Lucy picked us up at 1:45 today to go to the clinic for the tests. There was another adoptive family there. They are from St. Louis, but we did not exchange names.

The children did very well at the clinic. There were no tears or fussing. We have to go back on Monday to get the results read. This is the only thing we can do here before Sentencia and will allow us to go home three days earlier than otherwise.

I am hoping that on Monday we can have a Sentencia date.

No Sentencia Yet

2011-10-20T11:22:00.000-05:00

We spent the day yesterday hanging around Betty's Place. We do not have Sentencia yet. Lucy, our contact in Bogota came over and talked to my parents and I about what is happening. There has been a delay in Sincelejo and now the judge is wanting more information. Lucy later picked me up and took me to the ICBF office in Bogota, so I could talk to the people there. The head of the ICBF adoption program and the adoption head of the Sucre Department (where Sincelejo is) are reviewing the paperwork today and will send a letter to the judge.

I am really hoping we can have Sentencia early next week (i.e. Monday), so we can be home before November 1. Please pray that this delay can be over immediately.

Tuesday Update

2011-10-18T21:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my dad and I went with another family to Monserrate, the tallest mountain in the area. It is 10,500 feet above sea level (Nana stayed home with Rafael and Andrea). Jorge drove us there and after waiting in line for a while, we took a train up the mountain to the top. The cable car was not working, so we could not ride it. The train was fun, though.

Monserrate was neat. We could see most of the city of Bogota. It was chilly there, and started to rain when we were there. When we got back down the mountain, the other family left because their little one was not feeling well. Dad and I went with Jorge to Candelaria. That is the old city, where the Spaniards first settled in 1535.

We went to a nice restaurant, where I had fish with coconut, and yucca. It was good. There was a lot of food, so I ate only half and took the rest home and had it today for lunch. After lunch, Jorge gave us a short walking tour of Candelaria. We saw several old churches, the Parliament, the Senate, the Presidential Palace, the Supreme Court, and Simon Bolivar Plaza.

When we got home, Nana and the children were busy with cutting and drawing. They had had a good day.

Today, Granddad and I took Rafael and Andrea to the park to play. However, it soon became obvious that Andrea was not feeling well. By noon, she said she had a headache, so I gave her some Tempra, the Colombian version of children's Tylenol. She lay around all afternoon. Around 4:00, Betty called a doctor. The doctor arrived around 5:00. She examined Andrea and said that she had tonsillitis. She wrote out a prescription for her. I have to give her the medicine every eight hours.

We still do not have Sentencia. Please pray and Andrea will get well soon and that we will have Sentencia this week.

Andres Carne de Res

2011-10-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

Today started off better than yesterday. We had a lovely morning playing outside and walking to the park. Andrea and Rafael rode the merry-go-rounds. Unfortunately, Andrea fell off one of them while trying to get off. She is okay, though.

At 2:30, Jorge came to pick us up. He took us to Andres Carne de Res. It is a fantastic restaurant with lots of activities for the kids. When we got there, we walked around for a bit. We found some percussion instruments that Rafael and Andrea enjoyed playing. Then, a puppet show started. It was a long show, but it was funny. The children enjoyed it greatly. I don’t think they had ever seen a puppet show before. After the puppet show, we got a table and ordered soup for the children and appetizers: small potatoes, platanos, and empanadas.

While we waited for the food, Rafael and Andrea played with some modeling clay. Rafael made a dinosaur and Andrea made a butterfly. After we ate, Jorge put their names down for face painting. There was a wait for the face painting, so they made bracelets while waiting.

We got home at 7:00 and called Laurence. Through Skype, the kids were able show Laurence their faces, clay models and bracelets. They were very tired when bedtime came.

Second Saturday in Bogota

2011-10-15T21:37:00.000-05:00

This morning started out roughly. I don't want to go into details here, but Rafael was not in a good mood before breakfast. I talked to him later and the day improved as it went on.

Most of the morning and some of the afternoon was spent playing with Jacob, the son of the family who just arrived. We actually got Rafael to go on a walk (I think it helped that someone else asked him and not me). Granddad, Andrea, Rafael, and I walked to a nearby park that has swings, and slides, and merry-go-rounds. The kids enjoyed the park for more than one hour. They really loved the merry-go-round.

After getting back home, we let them watch a movie before supper. After we ate, Rafael got a truck and another Hot Wheels from Nana and Granddad. He got his other cars out and we played with them for a long while until Granddad started giving horseback rides to the kids.

The day definitely ended better than it began.

Andrea's Birthday

2011-10-14T22:33:00.000-05:00

Today is Andrea’s birthday. The kids slept in until 7:00. Even though it was a nice day (no rain), Rafael still did not want to leave Betty’s Place. Daniel and Rafael played with the soccer ball all morning. Andrea and Nana played with her doll. I went with Betty to get a birthday cake. Rafael told me (I think) that he does not want to go to a park because he goes, and plays, and is not ready to come back when we tell him to and so he might as well stay at the house!

Shortly before noon, I went to the store to buy some lunch. After lunch, I gave Andrea her birthday presents. She got a Dora the Explorer video from me and a small doll with a tiny pastry set from Nana and Granddad. She also opened her cards. She was playing with them when Cyndi came back with her boys. I was sitting on the floor with Andrea when first Andres and then the other triplets came over and sat on my legs. They watched Andrea until it was time for them to leave for their medical exams.

There is another family, who arrived last night. Sam, the newly adopted boy, is a year old today. His father took him to get his passport and medical exam. Rafael and Jacob, Sam’s brother, watched TV most of the afternoon.

After supper, we waited for everyone to get here to have the birthday cake. At 6:30, we decided to go ahead with the cake, because Sam was getting tired. Just as we were gathering, Cyndi and her family walked in. Everybody happily ate birthday cake.

Before supper, I was looking at a local restaurant’s website. Rafael came and looked at it with me. He seemed interested in it, although arroz con pollo was not on the menu. Perhaps we can get them there this weekend.

Fun in the Sun

2011-10-13T22:45:00.000-05:00

Today was sunny all day. Cyndi had left at 9:00 am for Sentencia and birth certificates. All of the children played outside for about two hours in the morning and then two hours in the afternoon. Rafael and Daniel kicked the soccer ball. Andrea and I helped the triplets (one at a time) on the slide while Granddad walked around or swung the boys who weren’t sliding.

DiverCity

2011-10-12T22:33:00.000-05:00

I didn't post yesterday, because the day was pretty much a repeat of the day before. However, before the rain started, Rafael played on the slide with the triplets. It was very sweet to watch him help the boys up the ladder and then get them ready to slide down.

We decided that today, we would take the kids to DiverCity, a Kid’s City. We thought it would be fun for them, because the children are supposed to pick jobs (fireman, model, ambulance driver, etc) to earn money and then spend the money at various activities.

When we got to DiverCity, we encountered a long line to get in. We were in line for about ½ hour. Patricia, our driver, stayed with us. The children were very patient waiting in line. After we got in, it was disappointing. There were many children there and the lines were long.

Rafael wanted to do the rock climbing, so he stood in line for about 10 minutes. When he was the next child to do the climbing, the attendant came over and said he couldn’t because he was wearing shorts and long pants were required! There were no signs posted and no one told him before-hand. Nana and I were very upset about it. I think Rafael took it better than we did. Also, he wanted to drive the cars. There was a height chart and when Patricia stood Rafael up to it, he clearly was at the 110 cm line, however, the attendant said he was at 109 cm and wouldn’t let him go. (Later Granddad took him to the gymnasium and he passed at 110 cm there.)

Rafael did enjoy kicking the soccer ball. The wait for that game was not too long, less than 8 minutes.

Andrea waited in line for modeling. She did a good job at it. Unfortunately, none of us had taken a camera. Then, she wanted to do the firefighters. Patricia waited with her in line for about one hour. Finally, she was able to get in to a group, but it would have been another 20 minute wait. By that time, she was tired of waiting and thirsty and hungry and got out of line.

After lunch, we let the children ride the train several times. They enjoyed that.

As we were leaving, we passed a store where the children could exchange their play money for a small gift. However, Rafael and Andrea did not have enough play money to get a gift.

We spent the rest of the afternoon not doing a whole lot because the electricity was out. It finally came back on at 5:00.

We are still waiting for Sentencia. The other mother who is here with the triplets has Sentencia tomorrow. She has been here since late August and is ready to go home.

Rainy Day

2011-10-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

Monday October 10, 2011

Today we stayed indoors most of the time. We let the children watch two movies in the morning (Ice Age and 101 Dalmatians). At noon, Andrea, Granddad and I walked to the mall for lunch. Rafael wanted to stay at Betty’s Place with Nana. Granddad and I had soup while Andrea had pizza. I ordered a personal pizza for her and when it came, she divided it into three portions and gave Granddad and I two pieces! She loves sharing. Andrea and I also enjoyed an ice cream cone.

All morning, there had been a large black rain cloud slowly coming toward us. While we were eating, it started to pour. We waited until the rain stopped before heading back. When we were about a block from our B&B, it started pouring again. We decided to go as quickly as we could because we didn’t think it would stop soon. When we got back, Betty told us that Rafael had told her that he and Nana were smart to stay home because of the rain.

We spent the rest of the afternoon cutting out pictures from the newspaper in front of the fire in the fireplace. The other mother had purchased two movies, so she put one in for Rafael and Andrea to watch.

I got a call from Carmen, our translator this morning. She said that we may not know until Wednesday when Sentencia is. I hope they do give me a several day notice so I can purchase plane tickets and get a hotel room reserved, because this will be a 24 hour trip.

Laurence made it back home safely last night and tonight, we were able to talk to him on Skype. The children enjoyed seeing him.

Sunday in Bogota

2011-10-09T18:46:00.000-05:00

Sunday October 9, 2011

Laurence left this morning at 6:30. Neither of us slept well nor for very long. I am not sure if the children slept well either because they came into our room at 5:30, although Laurence took them back to bed before he showered. Rafael went back to sleep, so Laurence did not get to say good-bye to him, but Andrea said good-bye.

After breakfast, Nana, Granddad, and I took the kids to the park. Granddad had brought the soccer ball, but it seems to be a dog park and the owners do not clean up after them. There was some playground equipment that the children enjoyed for a while. The main streets are closed on Sundays to cars and opened to bicyclists. Granddad took Rafael to see the bicyclists, while Nana, Andrea and I walked slowly back to Betty’s Place.

Around 11:00, we walked with the other family to the artisan market. It was a long walk, but the weather was good. I purchased some small gifts for Laurence’s parents and a magnet for us. On the way back, we stopped for lunch at a restaurant, which had a small play area that Rafael and Andrea enjoyed for a bit.

As we continued on our way home, we came across a group of capoeira dancers. Capoeira is a dance that was invented by African slaves in Brazil who were not allowed to do martial arts. The dance combines dance with martial arts. We enjoyed it for several minutes.

Once we got back home, shortly before 2:00, Betty was there and showed Rafael and Andrea some Legos. We played with those for more than an hour before they wanted to do something active. Granddad, Nana, and I played with the soccer ball until supper time. Supper was early today, so we were done eating before 5:30. Nana had found a 101 Dalmatians movie, which we watched.

A Trip to the Zoo

2011-10-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

My parents arrived safely last night. They and the children connected well and I think they will be a help while Laurence is gone.

Today, our driver, Jorge, took us to el Parque Jaime Duque. It was a 45 minute ride from Betty’s Place. Jaime Duque, who created the park, was a Colombian who was fascinated with Greek mythology, so there are many sculptures from Greek myths. He also like the Taj Mahal, so there is a replica of it. There are also model ships and the actual airplane that he flew for Avianca (the airline which he founded).

The park has a zoo with all kinds of animals, such as monkeys, crocodiles, tigers, birds, and more. We saw the tigers as they were lunching on a cow. Yum. It started raining while we were watching the birds, so I did not get very good photos. We had lunch at the restaurant at the park. I had rice and beans, which were very good.

After lunch, it was raining again, so Jorge wanted to take us to the indoor play area. However, Andrea wanted to play in the outdoor play area, so Granddad and I went with her while the others went on ahead. Andrea really loved the slides, which were wet and slick with rain. Her pants got soaked and I had no change of clothes for her Poor girl! She played there for about ½ hour in the light rain. Then we went to find the rest of the family. It was probably at least a ½ mile walk.

We found Rafael and Laurence waiting to ride a motorcycle ride. Granddad and Rafael rode one cycle and Laurence and Andrea rode another. It was still raining.

At the end of the ride, we thought it was time to leave. Along the way, Rafael said he needed to use the restroom. While we were waiting for him, Andrea found a souvenir stall with monkeys. Since the price was reasonable, I bought one for her. When Rafael arrived, I let him choose one as well. Of course the sun came out just as we left the park.

One the way back to Bogota, I remembered that we wanted to get a gift for our house sitter. Jorge stopped at a store that sells Colombian artifacts. We picked up two things, one for our house sitter and one for us.

Before supper, Laurence and I went shopping for snacks for the kids. Before bedtime, Laurence did a little rough-housing with the children and then we gave them a snack while I read a story. Getting them to bed was a lot easier than the last two nights.

I was glad this evening to see that Andrea was sharing her monkey with two of the triplets. They were very happy to play with it. Both Andrea and Rafael share their things easily, which is a good trait.

In Bogota

2011-10-07T22:17:00.000-05:00

Friday October 7, 2011

Today was better in many ways, but we still had our parenting mistakes. The children woke up and came into our room to greet us. Andrea took her shower and dressed, but Rafael had plopped himself down in front of the TV in their room and refused to be moved. I asked him if he wanted to eat breakfast first or shower first. He wanted breakfast. Breakfast here turned out to be two hours after they woke up, so we gave them granola bars to help with the wait. We also shared with the triplets who are here with their mom and brother.

We had a pleasant morning. Rafael watched TV in the bedroom until about 10:30. I asked the ladies who work here if they could please remove the TV and they did. (The kids don’t even seem to miss it!) Andrea played outside with Papi on the swing and the slide. She loves spinning on the swing. Rafael came outside for a while and played with the soccer ball and then went back in to play with the blocks. I sat beside him playing with blocks also.

Around 12:00, it was getting to be lunch time. We (Laurence, Andrea, and myself) wanted to go eat, since we could not eat at Betty’s Place. Rafael didn’t want to go. It took persuading from Mami, Papi, the two women who work here and another visitor to convince him that the best way for him to eat is to go with us. I had a map from the hotel, but it was not very clear to me. We did manage to find a restaurant, which had Italian food. Rafael and Andrea tend to sulk when they are hungry, so getting them to the restaurant was slow, however after eating spaghetti and pizza, they perked up again. While we were there, it started raining really hard, but the sun came out again just as it stopped.

Once we got back to the hotel, the children went outside to play. We had fun outside for more than one hour. Becca and Amanda, two women from Justapaz, were to be here at 2:30, but they werelate in coming because they took a wrong turn in getting here. We had a good visit. They asked about the adoption and we learned more about Justapaz and what they do with the sister church portion of the organization.

Tonight’s supper was a vegetable soup that had been pureed, with arroz con pollo and hotdogs (which I politely shoved aside) and patacones. We had fresh guava juice and water to drink. It was very good. There was also flan for dessert, but I declined it.

After supper (which was early: 5:00), we watched a soccer match on the TV in one of the living rooms and talked to the other family who is here. Marilena, one of the staff, took me and Andrea upstairs to see the room where my parents will sleep while they are here. We also played some computer games with the children.

I would say the evening was a success until it was time to go to bed. They were obviously using stalling tactics to avoid bedtime. It occurred to me after they were asleep, that we had forgotten their snack and supper was nearly four hours before!

Tomorrow, we are planning to go to the zoo. We told the children today and of course, Rafael said he doesn't want to go. I think he will enjoy it, though. I am excited that my parents are arriving tonight, but I am sad that Laurence is leaving for home on Sunday. I think the children are sad also.

In Bogota

2011-10-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

We are here in Bogota. We do not have Sentencia yet, which means that I will have to go back to Sincelejo when it happens, which will probably be Wednesday. We thought it was better for the chidren to come here to Bogota rather than wait for another six days in Sincelejo. My parents will arrive tomorrow night and they will take care of the children while I am back in Sincelejo.

We had packed most of our things last night, which made the children even more ready to leave. I kept the computer out and found some You Tube children's videos. That kept the kids occupied for several hours. Laurence had to go ICBF to sign another paper that will let me take the children out of the country without him. Laurence also got some lunch for us.

Finally, it was noon and time to go downstairs to check out. We had five suitcases (some small and some large) and four backpacks between us. We thought we were going to go to the airport with Carmen, but Rafael, our driver from Monday came in. As we were checking out, Carmen arrived. She told us about who was meeting us in Bogota and about Lucy, the Gladney contact in Bogota. We then left for the airport.

The flight we were on comes in from Bogota and unloads its passengers, and the reloads and takes off again for Bogota. We waited at the airport for over an hour because the plane was late in arriving. Okay, maybe it was on time Colombian time, but it was due to arrive at 1:30 and didn't land until 1:50. The children were very excited because it was their first airplane ride. Rafi didn't want to stay buckled in, but Laurence kept pointing to the Fasten Seatbelt sign and he finally got the message. I was sitting beside Andrea and she enjoyed looking out the window.

When we landed in Bogota, we met our driver, Patricia. She speaks English, so on the way to Betty's Place, we asked her questions about the city. Coming from the flat part of Illinois, I was excited to see the mountains. However, I noticed they were covered in mist. I couldn't tell if it was smog or fog, so I asked Patricia about pollution. She did say that there was a lot of pollution in Bogota because of the amount of cars and the mountains trapping it in. The children were worn out and slept part of the way to Betty's Place.

There is another family here at Betty's Place. Triplet boys who are 2 1/2 years old are being adopted. They are cuties. When we sat down to supper, it was fun to talk to them. The children ate well and then took their plates to the kitchen when they were done eating. I guess I don't have to teach them that. After supper, we let them play in the living room, which also had a TV on. (Rafael and Andrea sure like watching TV. They will be surprised when we get home and they discover we don't have Cartoon Network and that there will be limits on watching.)

Soon after we arrived, Lucy came over. She looked at our documents and said they looked fine. She also said it would be a good idea to tell the children about what will be happening this next week, and sooner would be better. I thought I would do that before bedtime, so I used Google Translate to find out how to say it. Unfortunately, they were too anxious to listen to what I wanted to say. We will try it tomorrow.

Laurence and I are definitely still learning how to be parents. Once we had them in their pj's, story read, good nights said, we turned out the light and shut the door. Not 10 seconds later, the light was back on and the television in their room was on. That is when I realized that they would not go to sleep on their own. We went back in, put them back into bed, and with the TV and lights off, rubbed their backs until they went to sleep.

I am praying that Rafael, especially, will be in a mood to listen to what we are doing this week. He has been having a hard time wanting to listen to what I tell him.

An Unexpected Encounter

2011-10-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

Wednesday October 5, 2011

Today is our last day in Sincelejo. The kids are anxious about what lies ahead, so we just took it easy, including eating breakfast in the room. We hung out in the room during the morning. I left about 10:00 to go get a sombrero as a souvenir and some more water. Carmen called around 11 and said that our Power of Attorney which we had signed last week needed to be redone. Our lawyer picked us up and we took a taxi to the notary. When we got back, Carmen called again to say that the lawyer would pick up Laurence around 3:00 to take him to sign a paper that gives permission for me to take the children out of the country, since he is leaving on Sunday.

After eating lunch in the room, we asked the kids if they wanted to go to the play area. They both said yes, so we went. Andrea wanted to jump on the trampoline, but Rafael didn’t. Instead, he and Laurence disappeared while I watched Andrea jump. When she was done, we started looking for Rafael and Laurence. Andrea pointed to Exito, so we went in. She must have some good instincts, because they were in the store looking at the Halloween costumes!

While we were looking at the costumes and the Christmas things, a man heard us speaking English. He wanted to practice his English, so we talked to him for a few minutes. Laurence had to leave to meet the lawyer, but the kids didn’t want to, so I stayed with them for a few more minutes. They kept wanting to buy things, but I knew we didn’t have room in the bags for anything else. I had to drag them away from the toys.

When we got back to the hotel, the lawyer had not shown up yet. I went back to the room with the children. Almost as soon as we got there, the cleaning lady was there asking if she could clean the room. (All week this seems to be the pattern – we leave for an hour or so and when we return, the cleaners want to clean the room, which means we have to leave again!) Andrea wanted to go swimming, but Rafael didn’t, so Andrea and I changed into our suits and I convinced Rafael that he needed to come with us but did not need to swim. While Andrea and I enjoyed the pool, Rafi sat at a table inside where I could see him and then later lay down on a sofa to sleep.

Laurence got back around 4:30, so we went back to the room. For supper, we walked to the nearby restaurant we had eaten at before. Laurence wanted to try a soup, the name of which I am not remembering. When he got it, it had pieces of cut up chicken gizzards, it also had a chicken foot! He did not eat that. I wanted to order a sopa de mondongo, but they didn’t have it. I later found out mondongo is tripe. Yikes, I’m glad they were out! Instead, I had a soup which had potatoes and a beef rib. It was very tasty. I also ordered yucca. The children had arroz con pollo.

I did have an unexpected experience this morning. As I was on the way back to the hotel from my errands, a woman stopped me. She asked if I was Rebecca. When I said yes, she said she was the children’s foster mom! I think she told me she had been watching us and was pleased that we are a family. She also said that she loved them and bought new clothes for them, for which I thanked her. She asked if she could call them on the telephone. I said no, and tried to explain that the people at ICBF didn’t want that to happen. I think she understood. She then apologized for bothering me and I said it was no bother. I did tell her that we were leaving for Bogota tomorrow and then to the States after about another week. Then we said good-bye. I’m not sure how I feel about this encounter. On one hand, it was nice to meet the person who had been taking care of them for over a year. On the other hand, she had been watching us?? I told Laurence who I had met, but not the children.

More Good News

2011-10-04T22:16:00.000-05:00

Rafael had another rough day, today. He started out fine (although he did not want to eat breakfast, but he did have a large snack mid-morning). However, as the day went on, he was getting more and more wild. After we were done swimming, about mid-afternoon, he finally fell asleep. He slept for about two hours and then was his old self. He gets frustrated when we don't understand what he is saying, so we can only guess that he was not feeling well. We are hoping that the nap this afternoon and a good night's rest tonight will revive him.

We told the children today that tomorrow night will be our last night in Sincelejo. Thursday, we leave for Bogota. My parents are coming on Friday to help with the kids since Laurence has to leave for home on Sunday. I'm looking forward to being in a place where the kids can run around and play without us holding their hands or telling them to be careful.

The Beach and a Surprise

2011-10-03T22:54:00.000-05:00

Monday October 3, 2011

Yesterday, we had another slow day. In the morning, I read parts of the story of Noah from my Spanish Bible and drew pictures to go along. In the afternoon, we walked down to the Plaza and then to a nearby store to purchase some play dough. We couldn’t find play dough, so we purchased some modeling clay. After the walk, we took the kids swimming. However, there were people already in the pool, with loud music. The kids weren’t so sure about swimming, so we went inside where there were tables. We gave the kids a snack of bananas and brought the modeling clay. Andrea played with it for quite a while, but Rafael wanted to be alone, so we let him.

After that, we went back upstairs and let them watch TV, probably for too long. They wanted to eat supper in the room, so Andrea and I went across to the mall and got some pizza and some tacos. They enjoyed those.

Today, we had planned to go to the beach in Coveñas, returning around 3:30. The beach is an hour drive away. We left shortly after 9:00 am by taxi (we had met him the night before). We were going to walk around in Tulu first, but it was raining pretty hard when we got there, so our driver drove us through town and gave us our first view of the Caribbean. We continued on to Coveñas. As we drove, our driver got a call from Carmen, our translator.

When we first arrived in Sincelejo, Carmen had told us that the interview about the bonding would take place 7-10 days after we met the children. And we would get a two-day notice. We were expecting her to call today to tell us that the interview was on Wednesday. To our surprise, she was calling us to tell us that the interview was today at 4:30! She asked our driver, to take us back at 2:30.

We spent a shortened day at the beach, which we accessed at a hotel. We had to check into a room in order to have a changing room and a place to leave our things. Rafael, Laurence, and I loved the warm ocean waters. However, Andrea did not. She likes to be clean and the sand was just too dirty for her. I sat with her for a while along the edge of the water, making a sand castle with a moat, while Laurence and Rafael went out a ways to enjoy the waves.

After a while, we went back to the pool (which has a slide, something the pool here in Sincelejo does not have). Our driver, who stayed at the hotel as well, took our pictures there and the children enjoyed the slide. Around 12:30, we decided it was time to eat. The children changed back into their clothes. I ordered pan-fried fish dinners for all of us and also pop. The children played on the playground while waiting for the food. I think this was the best meal we have had yet. The fish was fresh and came with coconut rice and patacones. Not much in the way of vegetables, but very delicious.

It was getting close to 2:00 when we were done eating. Rafael changed into his bathing suit right away and he and Laurence returned to the pool. Andrea decided she did not want to put on her wet bathing suit. When there was about 5 minutes left before we had to get ready to leave, Andrea suddenly changed her mind. She changed into her suit and went out to swim for five minutes.

When we got back to the hotel it was nearly 4:00. The plan was for Carmen to pick us up at 4:15 or so, so we thought we had time to wash off the sand, etc, before changing. Just as we got to the room, however, the front desk rang to say that the people from ICBF were here to pick us up. I told them we needed to change clothes first. We changed from our sandy clothes to good clothes in about 10 minutes, then hurried downstairs. There was no one there from ICBF. The lady at the front desk said they had left. We decided to wait there and were wondering if we should call Carmen, when she arrived.

She drove us to a restaurant and we met the ICBF ladies there, but the restaurant was closed. We ended up at an Italian restaurant in the mall across from the hotel. The women who met us were a little concerned about Andrea, because she was sad and wouldn’t say why. I thought it was either because she did not like the clothes I picked out for her or because she thought we were taking her back. The social worker talked to Andrea and Rafael for a long time outside the restaurant while the others talked with us inside to see how things were going. They brought Rafael in, and then later Andrea. They told us they wanted to see how we act as a family. I had brought some apples with me and gave some to the children. That perked up Andrea. I think she was just hungry.

We had supper at the restaurant. We discovered at this dinner that our plans may not go as we had hoped. We were hoping that we could leave for Bogota on Wednesday, then Laurence would leave on Sunday, and I would come back for the Sentencia (my parents are coming on the 7th and plan to take care of the children).

However, we learned that after the Sentencia (when the judge finalizes the adoption), we both need to sign for the children’s passports and the children need to be here (in Sincelejo) to get their passport photos taken. We explained that we had heard from other families and from Gladney that one parent is free to leave before the Sentencia. The lawyer is going to go to the passport office tomorrow to see if there is another way of doing this part of the process. Carmen thinks that the Sentencia may be next Monday or Tuesday, but we are going stir-crazy in this hotel room and are eager to be somewhere where the children can play outside.

Our First Saturday as a Family

2011-10-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

Today, we decided to stay in our room in the morning. It was just as well because it rained and the electricity went out. We played Uno and looked at some other picture cards. Laurence, Rafael, and I played with his cars for a while. Rafael enjoyed that a lot. Andrea chose to watch Ice Age. Laurence gave the children horseback rides. We also had lunch in the room.

After lunch, we went to the play area. Rafael wanted to play with the balls and Andrea the trampoline. I’m happy to see that they do have different interests. We then got bananas and juice for a snack. We swam for an hour at the hotel pool before heading back to the mall to see “Mr. Popper’s Penguins”. I thought the movie was okay, but I was hoping for more penguins and less romance and business. (Now I want to read the book to see how much they changed it for the movie.) After the movie, Rafael and Andrea wanted to ride the baby rides (a train and a small carousel). Laurence went to get more cash while I walked around with the kids. They saw a game of throwing balls into a basket, so I let them play one game.

One thing we are learning about Rafael is that he is fine when he is rested and fed, but when he is hungry, he becomes angry and nothing pleases him. We grasped this as we were heading to supper and we realized that the children had not eaten in about four hours. We will try to give them snacks every two hours tomorrow and see if that makes a difference. We ate supper at the same restaurant as two nights ago (it has very good arroz con pollo). After supper, Rafael was his normal self and we spent the evening playing Uno and watching Ice Age (it is the only DVD we have and they enjoy it).

Tomorrow we will meet with Carmen and a taxi driver to talk about going to Tulu on Monday. Tulu is a beach on the Caribbean about a 40 minute care ride away.

A Place to Play

2011-09-30T22:42:00.000-05:00

Today, we found a field for the children to play in. It looks like a soccer field, but it is sandy rather than grassy. There is also a tree nearby that the kids enjoyed climbing. Here are some photos of the day:

Second Day as a Family

2011-09-29T22:30:00.000-05:00

Well, so far, there have been no temper tantrums, but Rafael had decided to test us. He has been acting up because he is bored, but when I try to engage him in something physical (like jumping or skipping), he looks at me like I am nuts.

After breakfast today, our case manager from Gladney was supposed to Skype us, so we went to the room to wait for 9:00. The children started getting antsy, so Laurence took them out of the room to try to walk off energy while I waited. He was back in about 15 minutes saying that Rafael was not listening to his instructions to not run. We waited until 9:30 and then went out for a walk.

We walked to the Plaza Santander and went into several shops, looking for a belt for Rafael because his shorts were too loose. We did not find a belt, but did find a puzzle of Colombia that has the departments cut into individual pieces, which we purchased. We then went to get some ice cream. The children picked a chocolate cone, like what street vendors sell. Laurence got coconut ice cream and Mandarin ice cream. I decided on “Flor de Jamaica” and chocolate. Flor de Jamaica is a good flavor, it reminded me of raspberries.

There are two things I have noticed about Sincelejo so far: the shops are not brightly painted like they are in Mexico, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic. Also, they have an interesting way of choosing names. The ice cream shop we stopped at was Alaska Helado. Near the hotel is New York Drogas. I also saw a shop with the name Michigan. I also realized today that I have not seen many people smoking.

It is hard to describe accurately what we see on our way to the Plaza. The streets are full of cars, motorcycles, and street vendors selling fruit (fortunately most streets go only one way). The sidewalks are very narrow, sometimes only room for one person. The stores also bring their merchandise out onto the sidewalks, which makes walking on them even more difficult. It is common for people to walk in the street beside the sidewalk.

When we got back to the room, Rafael was not in a good mood. I think both children are tired of being in this small room. I took Rafael out to the hall, where there is more room to have him move around, but he refused to do anything. It was getting close to lunch anyway, so we went to get pizza.

After our lunch of vegetable pizza, we took them on the big slide at the play area. We all had a great time (the parents have to ride with such young children – such a chore).

Back at the hotel, just as we were ready to go swimming, my mom Skyped us. I had the kids say “hola”, but they were shy. We didn’t talk long. We spent just over an hour in the pool and then gave them a nap. We had worn them out so much that they slept for more than one hour. It was a respite for Laurence and I, but in retrospect, we should have napped as well!

After the nap, we gave them a snack and then we read books and drew pictures until suppertime. We wanted to try a local restaurant (not hotel or mall food). We walked to a nearby restaurant we had seen earlier. I had rice with shrimp, which was good (better than the hotel’s arroz con pollo). Laurence had a ¼ of a roasted chicken, very fresh and very tasty (apologies to my vegetarian friends). The kids had arroz con pollo. We learned what bollas are: cooked cornmeal, thicker than polenta, rolled into logs. I ate mine with ketchup. I can’t believe how much these kids eat. They ate everything while I couldn’t finish my meal!

After supper, we walked through Exito. Before we went in, I told them we were only looking and not buying. In the shops this morning, they were exclaiming over everything “I need this”. There was less of that at Exito, but we did stop at the Halloween costumes where we learned who Ben 10 is – a Colombian action hero.

We let the kids play in the ball area like last night. We forgot the camera both times. Before bed, Rafael wanted to watch the Ice Age movie in English. Then we read Curious George and he wanted it read in English. I’m glad he is interested in learning English. I just hope they do not lose their Spanish.

Our First Full Day as a Family

2011-09-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

Our day started around 6:30 am.

After breakfast, we walked to the Plaza Santander. We walked around the church and we had them skip and run to let off energy. We got back around 10 and cooled off a bit in the room. Then we started to go to the mall to pick up some things. Rafael and Andrea ran ahead and were stopped by the hotel staff and told not to run. However, as Andrea started down the steps, she slipped and fell right in front of me. I picked her up and carried her the rest of the way down.

I held her for a while and the staff brought some ice and ointment for her forehead. She was crying and trying not to. I told her she could cry if she wanted to. I felt really bad. Laurence carried her back upstairs and I held her again for a while with the ice. After about ½ hour, she still seemed sad and scared and didn’t want to move much. I handed her to Laurence and went to call Carmen. She wasn’t there, so I left a message.

Laurence went ahead and shopped while I stayed with the kids. After he left, I read “Brown Bear Brown Bear” to Andrea twice in Spanish and once in English while Rafael listened to music. When I got up to look at some picture cards with Rafael, I noticed that Andrea pick up the book and “read” it out loud. (I don’t think she can actually read yet, but it’s an easy book to learn.)

By the time Laurence got back, she had returned to her old self. 1 ½ hours after the accident, she complained that her leg hurt. I guess she scraped it and no one noticed because of her bump. I had her hold some ice on it for a few minutes. Carmen then called and I told her that Andrea was fine.

After lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, apples, and water (milk for the children), we went over to the Exito. We wanted to get some more music CDs and a bathing suit for Andrea. We also picked up some pool balls and a DVD of the Ice Age movie, but the sound on the DVD doesn’t work.

Soon after getting back to the room, the cleaners wanted to clean, so I told them 10 minutes. I didn’t think we could do it, but in 10 minutes, we had everyone changed into swimming suits and left for the pool. The hotel staff provided towels for us, which I thought was very nice. After we got to the pool, I noticed that Rafael had left his underwear on under his swim suit. He took off the trunks and swam in his underwear! After the swim, he took off his wet underwear and wrapped himself in a towel and carried his clothes back upstairs! I need to figure out how to tell him that he does not need to swim in his underwear, but can use the trunks, and that we do not undress in the pool area! Anyway, we all had a great time for more than one hour, splashing and throwing balls at one another.

After a snack of cheese, crackers and dates, we went for a walk down some streets and then went to the play area at the mall. They really liked the ball cage with the ladders and slides. It cost only 2100 pesos per child for 14 minutes (just over $1.00), so I purchased a card worth 20,000 pesos (about $10.61) for later use. Rafael did not want to come out when the man said it was time, so it was kind of embarrassing when the man had to go in and chase him out.

We had supper at the hotel. Except for buying fresh fruit at the street vendors, it is very difficult to get fresh fruit and vegetables here. No fruit at all for this morning’s breakfast (except the juice). This evening, we ate at the hotel and the only vegetables were the peas, carrots, and beans that were in the arroz con pollo, which I ordered for myself and the children. Laurence had no veggies in his spaghetti. My meal also came with French fries made with fresh potatoes and no salt added. We also had a packet of ketchup, which I used before I finished the fries. Andrea noticed and gave me the rest of her packet – very sweet. I couldn’t believe that Andrea and Rafael ate ALL of their food! Neither Laurence nor I could finish what we had.

After supper, we went back to our room. Laurence called his mom via Skype. The kids talked to her for a bit, but nothing beyond “Hello, how are you”. I read “Brown Bear Brown Bear” again and then Andrea and I looked at one of the Spanish picture dictionaries that I brought. I would point to the picture and say the word in English and she would repeat. However, I could tell before the end of the book that she was fading fast. When we finished the book, she went back to drawing and I taught Rafael how to play Uno. I think he enjoyed it, but I am not sure if he got the concept.

I feel like we haven’t gotten into a routine yet. Laurence had planned today pretty well, but it got screwed up with Andrea’s tumble. Part of the problem, which we were warned about, is that there are very few areas for kids to play. There are no large open spaces for them to safely run around in. We brought a few workbooks for them so we can have a “school time”, but they seem to be very antsy in this room, and want to play with the computer or with some of the other toys we brought. Perhaps tomorrow we will have better luck.

All in all, I believe that God has brought our family together. Laurence and I picked gifts for the kids that they love (dolls and cars), and the kids enjoy trying new things to eat, puzzles, and games. The timing was perfect also, even though the wait was frustrating. The group I was working with at my job left, my parents were able to go on their long-anticipated vacation, and Laurence was able to take time off work during a non-sweeps period (the station doesn’t encourage vacations during sweeps).

Day 2 - Meeting Rafael and Andrea

2011-09-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

Carmen told us yesterday that our attorney would pick us up around 9:00 to visit a notary. So, instead of sleeping in, we got up at 7:00. We ate breakfast – both had scrambled eggs and ham. I was expecting only that, but with it we had papaya, bread, cheese (very salty), butter, and patacones (I think that is the name: plantains that have been fried). It was good.

After breakfast, we waited for our attorney (as yet, we still did not know her name). At 10:00, I borrowed a cell phone and called Carmen and told her that the attorney had not yet arrived. Carmen said she would call her. The attorney, Maira, finally came around 10:50. We took a taxi to the notary and signed a Power of Attorney document. After we came back, we hung out in the hotel room, thinking of questions for the foster mom.

Around 1:15 or so, the cleaners came to clean our room, so we left. We first went to the bank, because I had learned last week that the fees were less to withdraw money from a bank rather than an ATM. We stood in line for about 20 minutes before we could approach the window. I explained that I wanted to withdraw $200,000 pesos. After a few minutes, we were told to go across to the office across the way. So we went. The banker wanted to see two photo IDs, so I am glad I had taken my driver’s license. Then she had to call VISA to explain what was needed and was given a confirmation number. We then went back to the teller and waited a few more minutes before actually receiving the money. Laurence decided that it was worth the extra fees at the ATM to use that instead of the bank and I agree.

We went to the mall and bought some pandebono. It is a bread, kind of like an arepa, that is filled with something that we did not understand the name of. We then walked down to the cathedral San Francisco. Laurence wanted to go straight at one street, where I thought we should have turned. We walked one more block and then turned left. After walking a few more blocks, I saw the cathedral towers, so we went back one block and then walked directly there. The sidewalks the entire way were either non-existent or very crowded. It was difficult to walk side- by-side.

At the plaza near the church, we ate the pandebonos. They were good. After a few minutes, we attempted to walk around the cathedral, but there was a lot of construction and was nearly impossible without walking in the street. We turned around and walked back to the hotel via a different street, a little easier to walk on the sidewalks. We walked past a lot of small shops selling fruit, hats, liquor, and other items. We had intended to stop at the Exito to purchase snacks for the kids, but we were so hot and sweaty, we went to our room instead. It is 3:20. In 30 minutes Carmen is picking us up to meet our children.

Later: A little after 4:00, Carmen picked us up and took us to the ICBF offices. It is in a pretty part of town. We were supposed to meet the children at 4, but the room was not ready, so we waited until 4:30. First, we met with the children’s social worker, psychologist, and other people. They told us about the children’s daily routine (I later realized, they did not include a bedtime). They said the children are excited to be adopted and want to leave Colombia to live in the US. Apparently, they had a friend at the foster home who was adopted and she told them all about the US. That made us feel better.

After we asked our questions, the children came in. They were a little shy at first, especially Andrea. But, we gave them the presents, which were big hits. In fact, later in the evening, when we were watching TV, a Hot Wheels commercial came on and Rafael excitedly pulled out one of his cars and said that it was the same as his.

The only down-side of the day was to discover that the teddy bears I bought for them did not come back with them. Oh well, I will have to get others, I guess. They also did not take pictures with the camera we had sent down, but a DVD was made of them for us to watch. We will do that tomorrow.

We got back to the hotel shortly after 6:00 pm. The children wanted to get out of the clothes they were wearing. We opened the suitcase that came with them and it was full of clothes! That includes the shoes, socks, and underwear we were prepared to buy tomorrow. After changing, they were very active and excited. They talked almost non-stop the entire evening. I understood most of what they said, but I am sure they were telling me things I didn’t understand. For instance, several times, Rafael said something and the only thing I understood was “Verdad, Mami?” I don’t know what I was agreeing to.

Laurence went out to get some Chinese food. While we waited, Andrea and Rafael drew some pictures. I told them the English words to what they were drawing. (Andrea expressed interest in learning English, but Rafael not so much. I do hope that changes soon.) Then, they discovered the remote to the TV. They will have a big learning curve when we get home and they find out our TV is so old it cannot be turned on by remote! Anyway, none of us were very hungry. We put most of the food in the fridge, although we may have to eat it cold.

After we ate, Rafael found some Curious George books, which I read to him in Spanish. However, I think he knew the stories, because he was telling me what was happening. I’m glad they like books. We have been told that they like school.

Since we had not been told when they go to bed, we decided on 8:30. First, I told them to brush their teeth. They can do that on their own, but they are too short to reach the sink to spit. Laurence or I will have to help them, I guess. I gave them a five minute warning for bedtime, and in five minutes, we took them to their beds, said good-night, gave hugs and kisses, and they went with no fuss. I know this is the first night, but I hope this continues.

Another good thing about the children, is that they have been taken to church. I am glad, because it will make going to church easier.

Both of them are asleep now. We need to do some shopping and find a swim suit for Andrea (else she will have to swim in shorts and a t-shirt). I don’t know what we will do tomorrow besides that. They are used to having naps in the afternoon, so we may have downtime then, at least for this week. Carmen in investigating us taking a trip to Tulu, a beach about 40 minutes away.

One thing we learned about them today, is that although Rafael and Andrea are 10 months apart, and by US standards, would be in separate grades, they have been in the same grade in school here. I guess we will wait until we get home and see what the school district determines their grades.

I would say that the first hours of parenthood were pretty successful.

Below are some pictures of the day, but I don't know how to add captions to the photos.

Arrival in Sincelejo

2011-09-26T21:38:00.000-05:00

We have arrived in Sincelejo, after three days of travel. We learned on Friday, that we would not only have to get clothes for the children for our stay in Bogota, but also for Sincelejo (where it is 30 degrees warmer). I spent Friday afternoon and Saturday morning shopping for clothes. I think we got all we need except for underclothes and socks and shoes, but we do not know their exact sizes yet for those items.

Saturday, after shopping, cleaning house and doing laundry, we started packing. We managed to get everything (including toys and games) in five suitcases and backpacks. I’m glad that Rafael and Andrea are old enough to be able to carry back some of the things we brought for them (including backpacks for them). We finally left town shortly after 6 pm, feeling exhausted, nervous, and excited. We spent the night in a hotel near O'Hare.

Sunday was a routine travel day for the most part. Sunday morning, we arrived at the airport early enough to return the rental car and make it to check in. After check-in and security, we had about two hours before the flight to JFK. Our flight left at 10:55 and we arrived at JFK a little earlier than expected. I thought we might have to change terminals for the flight to Bogota, but to our pleasant surprise, the connecting gate was across the hall from the arriving gate! Because we did not have lunch on the flight from Chicago, we ate at Burger King at JFK. It was kind of surreal, eating lunch in the middle of the afternoon, with sparrows flying about, waiting for the airplane that will take us to our children.

The trip to Bogota was uneventful. It was after we landed in Bogota that things got interesting. It was raining while we landed and it rained most of the night. After deplaning in the rain, we went to customs to fill out the declaration forms. We were expecting to have our bags inspected after we got them from the baggage claim. Instead, we handed the declaration form to a lady along with our passports and she looked at everything, handed them back and pointed to the exit! It was around 10:45 pm.

We walked outside to look for a taxi to drive us to the Hotel Del Puente, which had been reserved for us by the Justapaz folks. As we walked into the rain, a man came up and asked (in Spanish) if we needed a taxi. I said yes and he grabbed my suitcase and told me to follow. Laurence handed him the address of the hotel. I was expecting him to go to one of the taxis that were lined up. However, he led us to an unmarked red car. I prayed that we were going to be okay. After a few minutes of driving in what looked like not a very good part of town, he turned to me and said “este hotel es malo, hay muchas hotels son bueno, este es malo”. By then, I was not sure of this guy, so I said in my best Spanish that we had a reservation for the Hotel Del Puente and that is where we wanted to go. For the rest of the ride, he kept mumbling that it was a bad hotel, but he did take us there. After we got out, he charged us way more than what was reasonable. Laurence gave it to him and muttered that we were ripped off (the taxi ride the next day proved Laurence correct). Our guts were telling us that this guy probably wanted to take us to another hotel, where he can get some kind of kickback.

When we walked up to the door of the hotel, it was shortly after 11:00 pm. The doors were locked, but fortunately, the managers were still up (I think it was a mother and son; the son knew a little English, but not much). After trying to explain that we had a room reserved, she asked our names, etc. Then she checked us in. She did want to be paid, but not by credit card, and the taxi driver had taken most of our pesos. Again fortunately, she said she could accept American dollars, which I did have. It was one of my first experiences in having a conversation mostly in Spanish.

Although we had the lights out before midnight, we did not sleep much because of the traffic noise and the lights coming into the room. We were up before 6:00 am. We got up and checked out as quickly as we could because we did not know when we should check in. We did not have breakfast, because we thought we could eat at the airport. The son of the hotel manager called a taxi for us. We had our second experience in Colombian culture: on the way to the airport, the driver asked us (in Spanish) if we wanted the aeropuerto or the punto aires. We didn’t know what punto aires was, so we said aeropuerto. Then I said we were going to fly to Monteria. He called the taxi company who told him we wanted punto aires and as we approached the airport, he asked someone else, who told him the same thing. It turns out that the aeropuerto is for international flights and punto aires is for domestic flights. He took us to the correct airport and charged us a much more reasonable price than the night before.

As it turned out, we had no breakfast at the airport, only a bag of dried fruit and some water and juice. The flight to Monteria was quite uneventful, and quick, only one hour. Then, after retrieving our luggage, we met our driver, who drove us to Sincelejo, a 90 minute drive. I guess he thought we could not speak Spanish, because he did not say anything to us during the whole trip.

The country between Monteria and Sincelejo is very pretty. The first half of the journey was flat, with pastureland and fields. We went through a few small villages. We could see mountains in the distance. Everything was green and lush, what you would expect from high heat and humidity. We saw a lot of cattle, goats, and a few horses. After about 45 minutes to an hour, I started noticing that we were approaching hills. The terrain suddenly changed from flat to hilly. We went through Sampues, where our children were born. I took a few pictures of the town as we went by.

Riding in Colombia is quite an experience. The taxis have seatbelts for the driver and front passenger, but not for the back seat; if they do have them, they don’t work. The speed limit signs seem to be only suggestions. The two-second rule does not seem to exist – drivers will get as close as they can to the vehicle in front of them and then pass when there is a chance. There were not any close calls that I could see.

We arrived at the hotel in Sincelejo around 12:30 and met Carmen, our translator. She told us briefly what to expect tomorrow (we are not meeting the children until 4:00). She told us about the mall across the street. After she left, we went to our room (third floor, no elevator) to put down our belongings. Then we went to the restaurant for lunch.

After eating, we went to the mall across the street. It has 61 shops, including a food court. Carmen had mentioned having a cake at the “bonding”, so we purchased plates, cups, forks, and napkins. We also purchased a few other items. As we checked out, I was glad that I had read a blog by Mennonite missionaries in Colombia. The writer talked about being asked her “quota” the first time she used a credit card. The quota is how many months it would take to pay off the purchase. When the cashier today asked me my quota, I knew what she was asking and answered “una”.

Carmen reminded us about bringing gifts for the children. We had already purchased a doll for Andrea. We looked for a toy for Rafael this afternoon and couldn’t find anything. When we got back to our room and were relaxing, Carmen called. Laurence told her we could not find a toy and were wondering where else we might look. She was kind enough to pick us up an hour later and take us to another store downtown, where we found four Hot Wheels cars. Perfect.

Tomorrow we meet Rafael and Andrea and then they will be with us. We asked Carmen what we should do, and she said whatever we wanted. Sincelejo does not seem to have many attractions for children. I mentioned going to the beach and Carmen said that the driver could take us, but we would likely have to pay for the ride. There is a swimming pool here, so that is one thing. There is also a nearby park, which we have not seen yet.

We have spent years training and preparing for children. The time is upon us and I am a little nervous. What if we are boring parents? What if we forget what we have learned? What if we cannot communicate like we thought we might? Tomorrow at this time, we will be parents. I am confident that this is God’s plan for us.

The Week Before Parenthood

2011-09-22T21:37:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday, we received a tentative travel date of September 24. On Monday, the date was confirmed as being on September 25. That meant that in less than one week, we had to purchase airplane tickets, fill out a visa application, get passport photos, and make copies of other documents to take with us to the Colombian Consulate in Chicago.

These last four weeks waiting for a travel date have been more stressful and anxiety-filled than I imagined they would be. Since I was not sure from week to week when we would be travelling, I put a lot of pressure on myself at work to get things done. As it turns out, the timing was good for my job. We had a group of librarians from China here at the beginning of September and since my job is to make sure they have places to stay, transportation, meals, etc, it was good that I was still here. Now, the group is leaving on the 27th and all is well.

At the beginning of this week, I thought that once we had a travel date, I would be able to be less stressed. Well, that did not happen. I still needed to finish last-minute things at work and at the same time try to get the information ready to get the visas. We were told to call the Consulate the day before we planned to go there to verify what we needed to bring. We also needed to find out how to get there, and where to park, and if we needed an appointment. By yesterday, my stomach was in knots as I called the Consulate twice and left messages and emailed them twice. They did not answer either. Finally, at 3:00 pm, I found on the website the button to click to make the appointments and made them for 10:00 am and 10:30 am. That meant leaving at 6:30 in the morning, which meant Laurence would be getting less than five hours of sleep. I decided to drive, although I detest driving in Chicago.

Adding to the stress of the week was that I learned that one of my friends has a stage 4 cancer. She is starting treatments this week and is hopeful to fully recover. I will be praying for her.

So today, we drove to Chicago to get our visas. The drive up was easy. The drive back was a piece of cake. Driving in Chicago was as harrowing as I thought it would be. Three lanes of traffic, all going about 60 miles an hour, never knowing what crazy driver is going to change lanes unsafely. At one point, I was keeping an eye on the traffic to the right of me when I noticed a car to my left suddenly swerve into my lane! I slammed on my brakes, which caused the driver behind me to slam on his. My heart did not slow down for quite a while.

We found the building with the Colombian Consulate easily enough. We had heard that the hotel across the street will park your car in their hotel lot, so we decided to do that. However, we did have to ask where to find the valet. After dropping off the car, we crossed the street to the Consulate building (this building has many consulates for many countries). We found the Colombian Consulate, and after a few minutes of waiting, someone came out to look at our documents. Then, he said that it will take two hours and come back at noon. I do not know if this was because he thought we did not have an appointment.

During our wait, Laurence and I walked down Illinois Street to Navy Pier. Neither of us had been there before on foot. I was surprised how many restaurants were there. I thought there would be more variety of shops. Along the pier, there were about five small cruise boats tied up. These boats were for dinner cruises. People were taking pictures of them and I remembered the massive cruise ships in San Juan, with their large ropes. These boats at Navy Pier looked so puny in comparison that I had to laugh to myself.

After having lunch at Navy Pier, we walked back to the consulate and picked up our visas. We then picked up our car at the hotel. Actually, driving back out of Chicago was not as bad as the drive in, but it was still tense.

So, now we have our visas. Because we are flying out of O’Hare on Sunday, we will leave Saturday to drive back to Chicago and spend the night in a hotel. That leaves us with less than 48 hours to get ready to go. I will be spending a few hours at work tomorrow, then I will go clothes shopping for the kids. After that, I go visit a friend. Saturday will be packing day and cleaning day. Tonight, I am actually feeling relaxed and not as tired as I have in previous evenings. I don’t think it has sunk in yet that we will become parents soon.

Our schedule for the next few weeks is:
25th – fly to Bogota
26th – fly to Monteria and drive to Sincelejo
27th – meet Rafael and Andrea
October 4 or so, meet with the judge about how the bonding is going and we will then fly to Bogota for the rest of our time
October 9 – Laurence flies home, and my parents hopefully will be able to come

At some point, I will need to go back to Sincelejo to pick up the adoption documents. This is called Sentencia (I think). After this, we get the children’s passports, visas, medical checks, and tickets home. I have a return flight for October 25, but have been told that it will likely change.

I will keep up with this blog as I can.

The Final Wait (I think)

2011-08-19T18:41:00.000-05:00

All of our documents are on their way to Colombia. Yeah! Our case manager has said that we will soon get a travel date. Only, no one know how soon "soon" is. Will it be in one week or in four weeks? And, once we get this travel date, will it be for one week later or four weeks later? Right now, we are living week by week, waiting for word.

Meanwhile, I am trying to get things done at one of my jobs, so no one will have to do my job while I am gone. The other job (University help desk), we are busy with students' questions and more. We are also trying to get our house in order - clearing book cases, filing papers, etc. I am trying to spend time in the evenings relaxing, so I can rejuvenate for the next day.

A Prayer Request and an Appreciation

2011-07-24T20:30:00.000-05:00

An Appreciation:

I appreciate the parents at our church who have been in our shoes before us. They understand what it is like to wait. When I mentioned to one adoptive mother that becoming a mother does not seem real yet, she knew what I was talking about.

(In case you are interested, in our church we have children who have been adopted from Russia, Guatemala, and South Korea, in addition to domestically.)

A Prayer Request:

As of now, the only thing preventing us going to Colombia are our FBI background checks. When I called them on Thursday, the person I spoke with confirmed the fingerprints had gotten there and that it would take four more weeks to process! I then called our local Representative about it. They are going to contact the FBI tomorrow to see if things can be expedited. Please pray that the people at the FBI will be moved to hurry our processing so we do not have to wait until September to go to Colombia.

Referral!

2011-07-07T20:20:00.001-05:00

Our timeline:

Eight years ago we decided to adopt domestically.
Six years ago we decided to adopt internationally.
3 years and 3 months ago we received our first acceptance by ICBF in Colombia to adopt a 3-4 year old child.
1 year and 3 months ago we decided to change programs in Colombia.
3 months ago, we were accepted into the program to adopt a sibling pair ages 0-6.

Today, we have a REFERRAL! I can hardly believe it is really happening. We have waited for so long.

The children are Rafael (age 6 1/2) and Andrea (age 5 1/2). Both are healthy, with no apparent issues. They are an answer to a lot of prayers. They are in Sincelejo, which is along the Caribbean coast. I am disappointed we will not be going to our church's sister church city of Bucaramanga, but I didn't really expect it.

Now, we have only a short time before we can go meet them. Since we were first accepted under the Pre-Hague Conventions (passed in 2008), we don't have to wait as long to travel as parents accepted after that date. We have a lot of things to do though:

Make 2 picture albums, one for each child.
Make a DVD of our house, neighborhood, school, parks, church, etc.
Make sure our FBI background checks get back to us so we can get them apostilled.
Get our medical forms and employment verification letters apostilled.
Get our visas at the Colombian Consulate in Chicago.

All this before July 25, when we will learn when our court date is! It looks like we will travel in August, which means the children will miss the first few weeks of school here. I confess to being a natural worrier. I will try pray rather than worry that our background checks will get back here soon.

I am so ready for this to happen.

In case you are wondering, we are not supposed to publish the pictures of the children before our court date.

The Perfect Teddy Bear

2011-06-19T18:49:00.000-05:00

I found the perfect teddy bear at Ten Thousand Villages. It is from Bolivia and is very soft and cuddly. I bought one yesterday and will buy another next month. I plan on taking them with us to Colombia to give to our children there.

We do not yet have a referral, but expect one soon. Meanwhile, we are getting forms updated, notarized, and apostilled. We are also getting the bedroom into shape. Hopefully soon I will be able to post a picture of with the bunk beds.

Training for Adoption

2011-05-15T14:52:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of May, we went to Fort Worth for a two-day training at Gladney Center for Adoption, which is our international adoption agency. The training was for people adopting older children, to give us tools to change a child’s behavior without harsh discipline. It was a lot to absorb and we left with a large binder. It did, however, give me more confidence in myself when it comes to discipline (hopefully I’ll remember the tips when I am in “the heat of the moment”).

The couples there for the training included three adopting from Colombia, one each from China, Haiti, and Russia, and 5-6 from Ethiopia. One of the couples is from OK and knows Laurence’s sister and parents! The couples were mostly from Texas, but there was one from NC and one from WA. It was good to meet people who are also adopting internationally.

At the end of the training on Friday, we met with our case worker. She gave us some exciting news. Normally, dossiers (the big packet of info we prepared) would go to a region after approval, where it would be for 30-60 days before a referral. She said that because we are willing to accept a special needs child, we may get a referral before it goes to a region! I mentioned that I want our children home by December 8 (when our immigration papers expire again). She said “barring avalanche, earthquake, or political upheaval”, she could guarantee that our children will be home by December 8!

One other thing she said is that Gladney does not usually give referrals from Bogotá, because the time there is so long. The stay at the capital is eight weeks, compared with a four-week stay in smaller regions. So, we can definitely plan on staying there for four weeks.

I believe we can safely say that this adoption process is in its last months.

Update: the next step

2011-04-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick update. We received word last week that our updated home study was approved for adopting a sibling set of two, ages 0-6. The dossier is now waiting to go to a region.

Coffee Time

2011-02-25T21:23:00.000-06:00

I want to encourage all readers of this blog to purchase some delicious Fair Trade coffee from Just Love Coffee (the link is on the right). My goal is to have at least 15 people buy coffee in March. It help us get closer to getting the money we need for this adoption and it will help you feel good about the coffee you drink.

Unanswered Questions

2011-02-25T21:19:00.000-06:00

This week, I have been reading the book "Choosing to See" by Mary Beth Chapman. In it, she describes her thoughts and feelings after her daughter's death. She talks about not knowing God's full plan for our lives, but relying on God that everything works for the good of those who love God.

It got me to thinking about the delays and set backs we experienced in 2010. Why did God allow for these to happen? Is it because our children were not ready for us? Or we for them? Was it Satan, trying to encourage us to give up on the adoption process or on God? (If it was, it did not work.) I guess we'll never know why our home study was not in Bogota until six months after we had hoped it would be.

I do know that we will continue to trust in God to work God's plan in us.

By the way, if you want to read "Choosing to See", be warned that it is a hard book to read, emotionally.

How Not to be Neighbors

2011-02-02T17:24:00.000-06:00

I just had a lesson on how not to be neighborly. While I was out shovelling snow this afternoon, I was thinking about the Golden Rule "Do to others as you would have them do to you". I was also thinking about how nice it would be for someone with a snowplow to plow our street. Lo and behold, a truck with a plow turned onto our street and started plowing. I stopped what I was doing and gave them a thumbs up. What did the driver do, but turn around just past the first house on the block and go the other way! Leaving a pile of snow across the roadway, blocking us in! Everyone who saw it was flabbergasted. It is totally beyond words. I am sure the two men in the truck thought it was a joke, but we sure didn't.

This is definitely behavior we do not want to pass along to our children.

Missing Persons in Colombia

2011-02-02T10:25:00.003-06:00

While I knew there has been civil war in Colombia for more than 40 years, and that people have been displaced because of it, I did not realize until this past December that there are also many who have disappeared. Here is a link to an article by the International Commission on Missing Persons. http://www.ic-mp.org/icmp-worldwide/south-america/colombia/

Rachel's Cry

2010-12-26T13:33:00.002-06:00

In worship today, we heard about the children in Colombia who are affected by North America's demand for drugs. Colombia has been in a civil war because of this demand and the ones affected most are the thousands of people, including children, who are forced to leave their homes to go the the cities for safety.

This is worse than King Herod's slaying of 20-30 children after Jesus was born. It has been happening for decades.

Our sister church, in Bucaramanga, is doing something to alleviate this suffering. They run a feeding program for children. They feed about 50 children each day. It is only a tiny portion of the displaced children, but they are doing something.

What can we in North America do? I hope all of us who adopt from Colombia do more than adopt a few children and then pray for the rest. We need to let our government know that the current policy in Colombia is not acceptable.

Home Study in Colombia

2010-12-23T18:05:00.003-06:00

We received word today that our updated home study is on its way to Colombia! We are very excited about this. The timeline, as I understand it, is as follows:

- up to 3 months in Bogota, for approval, etc. before being sent to a region;
- up to 7 weeks in a region before we get a referral;
- we have 60 days to accept the referral;
- after we accept the referral, we will get a court date, which will be 3 to 10 weeks later.

We could have a referral by May. I hope so. We have been waiting patiently for a long time, trusting in God that he will send us the children meant for us.

Another (small) Step Forward

2010-12-05T22:16:00.000-06:00

Our updated and corrected home study is now in Texas, being translated. However, we need to have it apostilled. So, I have sent our copy of it to our state capital for the apostille. Hopefully, our home study will be in Bogota by Christmas.

Tomorrow, we are getting our USCIS fingerprints redone again. This will be the fourth time. I hope it will be the last.

The Wait Continues

2010-11-09T16:36:00.003-06:00

In April, when we decided to change our program from one child to a sibling set, I was sure we would be in Colombia by November (this month), meeting our children. However, because of delays beyond our control, our home study is still being translated. Now, we will be lucky to get a referral before May, 2011. The waiting is getting hard, especially when I read blogs of other families, who seem to be able to adopt their older children very quickly.

I am confident that God is in control, but I think I need some encouragement.

National Adoption Month

2010-10-29T16:13:00.003-05:00

November is National Adoption Month. Here are two websites that have ideas about helping orphans in the US and around the world:

http://notesfromthefrugaltrenches.com/2010/10/29/help-a-family-friday-china-kidz-a-christmas-project/

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/10/what-you-can-do.html

Home Study Update

2010-10-05T16:28:00.002-05:00

Good news! Our home study has finally been corrected and is in Texas being translated. I sure hope that things will go smoothly now and we will have our referral within six months (that is the time-frame we were told last spring).

A Look at Schools

2010-09-16T16:23:00.004-05:00

In our town, we have School of Choice at the elementary level. That means that parents can determine to which school to send their children. Sometimes, that choice is limited by any number of things. Although we live two blocks from one elementary school, we will probably send our children to another. The reason is this:

The school district has a bilingual transition program for Spanish speakers. This program is currently located in a school north of downtown, and will move in two years to another school. Laurence and I went to a meeting about it last night. Our children would be tested for English proficiency when we enroll them in school. They probably will qualify for the bilingual transition program. In this program, they will start Kindergarten with Spanish instruction most of the day and add a little more English instruction each year, so by 5th grade, they will have classes mostly in English and a little bit in Spanish. This is a great program, but I am disappointed by one thing:

Each year, our children will be tested for English proficiency and if it is determined that they are proficient, they will exit the program. There is no option for them to stay in the program. I was hoping they could stay, so they don't lose their Spanish, but alas, I guess I need to accept the fact that they probably will not be bilingual after they learn English.

So, for now, we know which school our children will go to; we just don't know who our children are yet!

Still Waiting...

2010-08-12T18:16:00.003-05:00

I can't wait for the day to be able to report good news. I was really hoping that I could say today that our home study has been translated and is on the way to Colombia. Alas, it is not.

After one month of believing that our updated home study was at our adoption agency in Texas, I learned today that it is not. I don't know if it wasn't sent or if it got lost in the mail. I emailed our social worker here and she will send it again tomorrow.

I think God is trying to teach me a lesson on relying on His timing, not mine. I find it easy to demand that God do things on my schedule. I don't know why we keep having these delays. I would like to think it is because our two children are not ready for us, although we are ready for them.

Wedding

2010-07-31T12:18:00.005-05:00

My sister-in-law got married a week ago today. Her new husband, Juan, is a Colombian who was adopted in the early 1970's. We are excited to have him in the family, and not just because he is a nice man. Our children will have a Colombian uncle who was adopted, so there is a connection there. Congratulations, Laura and Juan!

Happy Day

2010-07-09T20:29:00.004-05:00

Well, that was a stressful experience. There is nothing like waiting for something, with a deadline, to happen that is beyond your control. But now, the letter from DCFS has been written and it and the home study are now with the immigration offices. The home study is also being sent to our international agency, where it will be translated and then sent to Bogota.

Now, we are back on track for the adoption of two siblings. I'm glad I'm patient by nature because patience is needed in this adoption process.

Still Waiting

2010-07-01T16:47:00.001-05:00

Well, it is July 1 and our home study is still with the DCFS. I have been in contact with our social worker, who is trying to figure out where it is. I sure hope and pray that this home study will be at the USCIS by July 8.

How Long?

2010-06-20T21:34:00.003-05:00

First, the good news: our I600A "grandfather" application is in at the USCIS. (This is the immigration paperwork.) We have until July 8 to get the home study in.

Now, the not so good news: I am reading other people's blogs and they seem to be able to adopt their children within months of approval. We have been at this for nearly seven years (the first two and a half in domestic adoption). I'm not really complaining, but it seems we can't do anything fast in this adoption process.

I was hoping that by now our updated home study would be in Texas, getting translated. Instead, we are now waiting for the Illinois DCFS to write a letter of endorsement. Our social worker here said she sent it to them two weeks ago. I told her we need to have it by July 1. I really wish there was a way to get them to hurry up. I am getting tired of waiting; I am ready to be a parent now.

I600A and Home Study Update

2010-06-02T21:53:00.002-05:00

I mentioned before in this blog that we had to update our home study and renew the USCIS immigration form for adopting internationally (called the I600A). I knew this form expires the beginning of June. I was concerned about getting it in on time, but we received two blessings.

1. The I600A expires on June 8, not June 1 like I thought.

2. We have 30 days after June 8 to get the home study in.

I am optimistic that we can have the home study in Chicago and in Texas by next week. The timeline, as we heard it from our case worker in Texas is:

The home study will be in Texas for one month, getting translated, and then it will be sent to Bogota, where it will remain for up to three months. From Bogota, it will be sent to a region in Colombia. Hopefully, we will get a referral within seven weeks. If this all goes well and as planned, we could have a referral for two children in six months. I am hopeful that this will happen.

Visit to Chicago

2010-05-30T20:40:00.009-05:00

On occasion, I think about the places I would like to take our children once they are settled. One of those places is the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. This weekend, Laurence and I decided to go to this museum to see the Green Home that is there. Our tour of the home was at 2:00, and we arrived in time for lunch. After eating, we wondered around, seeing some of the exhibits, including a demonstration of fire. That was pretty neat.

At two o'clock, we took the tour of the Green Home. This house was built with energy efficiency in mind - from recycled materials (including water) to solar panels, to an all-house computer system that you can program to play your favorite music when you come home. Some of the more interesting things were the sinks made from recycled porcelain toilets and the roof gardens. They also had vertical gardens. I found the house interesting, but probably too expensive to implement at our house.

Green Home

Vertical Gardens

After the tour, we went back indoors to see the IMAX movie about the Hubble Telescope. That was very awesome, indeed.

After the museum closed, we drove to my brother's house and spent the night. On Sunday, my brother, nephew, Laurence, and I, along with their dog, Sebastian, went to Lake Michigan. We walked along the lake, and then Mahlon and I waded in the lake for a while. It was the first time I had been in the lake on the Chicago side (I've been to the Michigan side). It was a very nice way to end our short trip.

Joe, Sebastian and Mahlon

At Lake Michigan

Mahlon in Lake Michigan

Update on Chrissie

2010-05-19T21:18:00.002-05:00

I just read the sad news that little Chrissie died this morning. Her heart and lungs just were not strong enough to recover. Pray that her family will be comforted during this time. If you want to go to her blog, just google "all are precious in his sight".

Update on Status

2010-05-07T21:40:00.002-05:00

Well, our home study paperwork is all in and our social worker is working on updating the home study. Meanwhile, I have the application for renewing our I600A (which is the immigration application from the USCIS). Since the I600A is no longer being used, we have to do a procedure called "grandfathering". I learned this week that the complication is that we may not be able to "grandfather" a second child. We might be able to since we are adopting siblings, I hope so. I do not want to fill out extra paperwork.

I am getting kind of nervous about this, because June 1 is rapidly approaching and everything has to be in before that date. This is one of those situations that is very easy for me to worry about. However, I am still trying to avoid worrying.

Between this adoption and my job, I don't know life without stress. Then, I hear that being a parent is also stressful. Will I ever be stress-free again?

Chrissie

2010-05-03T21:36:00.002-05:00

I have been following a blog about a four-year-old who is recovering from open heart surgery. Her name is Chrissie. Here is the link:

She is a fighter, but right now, she needs lots of prayers to breathe on her own and to start moving on her own. Please pray.

April Update

2010-04-22T21:31:00.004-05:00

I didn't realize it has been a month since I last wrote on here. My apologies to those who keep checking for something new.

Last week, we turned in our paperwork to update our home study. Our I600a is expiring June 1, so we need to have the home study complete by then.

I also wanted to share the latest wait list from ICBF (the Colombian adoption agency)*.

Age of Child ------- Date of Application Approval by ICBF
Child 0-12 months ------ Jul - 2006
Child 13 - 23 months ---- Jul -2006
Child 2 years ----------- Oct - 2005
Child 3 years ----------- Feb - 2006
Child 2 - 3 years -------- Apr - 2006
Child 3 - 4 years -------- Feb - 2006
Child 4 years ----------- Nov - 2005
Child 5 years ----------- June - 2007
Child 4 -5 years -------- May - 2006
Child 5 - 6 years ------- Aug - 2007
Child 6 years ----------- Dec - 2009
Child 7 years ----------- Aug- 2009

2 Siblings 0 - 4 years --- Jun-2007
2 Siblings 0 - 5 years --- Mar-2007
2 Siblings 0 - 6 years --- Jul-2008
2 Siblings 0 - 7 years --- Feb-2009
2 Siblings 0 - 8 years --- Aug - 2009

The dates mean that the dossiers approved by those dates are no longer at the national office, they are in the regional office, even though families may still be waiting for a referral.

As you can see, if we stay with the single child ages 3-4 program, we would still have a two-year wait. When we change to a sibling set of 0-6, our dossier will hopefully be sent to a region by end of summer. (Our dossier was approved in March 2008.)

* This list came from another blog: http://raisingcolombiankids.blogspot.com/search/label/ICBF%20Wait%20List

Giving up Worry for Lent

2010-03-22T21:07:00.004-05:00

I have given up worry for Lent. This is a difficult thing for me to do, because I worry a lot. I haven't done too badly during these weeks. There have been moments when I start to worry again, but then I remind myself that God will provide whatever we need. A co-worker gave me the image of putting my worry into a balloon and then releasing the balloon, so the worry floats away. It has helped somewhat.

During these weeks, I have found my prayers to God are shorter, especially the ones during my Sunday morning walks. I think God must have thought I was hounding Him or something. It is nice to be able to concentrate on other, more positive things than worrying. However, I still find myself running through "worst case scenarios" of a specific event (such as our house burning while we are away). Is this a form of worry? These scenarios just pop into my head, so I think it would be harder to banish these thoughts than simple worrying (if worrying can be simple).

Now the question is, will I be able to keep my worries at bay as we get closer to parenthood? I hope so, but it will be difficult.

Updating the Home Study

2010-03-03T21:23:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, we met with our social worker about updating our home study. We went in wondering why she said it would be a two hour meeting. Now, we know why. Because of changes in laws, we have to add several documents to our home study. This is equivalent to about 10 pages. And we have to attend another training session in April. This training session will cover much of the same things we covered with Gladney, but this is for our local agency.

So much for hoping the home study could be done before April 1. Nothing in this process goes very fast. One would think I would be used to this, but I still get surprised at how long things take. I just have to remember that our social worker here is also working with other clients.

Adopting Siblings

2010-02-07T20:39:00.003-06:00

On Friday, we talked to our case worker at Gladney and told her we wanted to adopt a sibling set of two. Today, we decided to ask for a boy and a girl. The oldest child will be 6 and the younger will be older than 2. We could get a referral by this September. I am seriously considering taking one day a month off of work to work on adoption stuff (such as get the house ready for children, and look into schools).

Today's sermon at church was about casting our nets into deeper waters and trusting in God as He leads us into the unknown. I see this journey as casting our nets and trusting God.

Switching Programs

2010-01-27T21:20:00.004-06:00

I heard on NPR today that bloggers should add a blog every day. That is obviously not happening with this one. I hope I don't lose readers because of infrequency.

Well, tomorrow we talk with our case worker about switching programs. I have thought of some questions. I think we are ready to tell her we want to switch to the sibling set 0-6 years. This will make our referral this summer, rather than two more years.

I am both nervous and excited. I told this to a friend (who adopted three children from Russia) and she said "good, I would be worried if you were either nervous or excited". I feel very fortunate to have three families at church who have adopted internationally.

I realized yesterday, while reading a book on parenting internationally adopted children, that I have been naive in my imaginings about our children. I had been imagining that our children would adjust quickly and would not have many long-lasting problems. While reading this book, it occurred to me that this may not be the case. Now, my prayers are that we will be able to cope with the problems the children bring with them.

Changing Programs

2010-01-02T12:50:00.002-06:00

Laurence and I are beginning to consider switching to a sibling program. We still want young children (under age 7) and we can only take two. The wait will hopefully be shorter.

I keep looking around the house and seeing things that need to be changed/moved before we have children here. As things are now, we definitely have been living in an adult world these last ten years. I see breakables within reach of little hands. I see piles of papers, great for kids to mess about in. I guess we have our work cut out for us to make this home kid-friendly.

Christmas Traditions

2009-12-15T18:37:00.002-06:00

I've been trying to think of what Christmas traditions I would like to pass on to my child. Here are some of them:

- setting up a Christmas tree near the first Sunday in Advent and keeping it up until Epiphany;

- church activities, such as the Christmas Eve service;

- having a light Christmas Eve supper surrounded by candlelight;

- having an Advent calendar;

- sharing the story of Christ's birth;

- lighting Advent candles.

Looking at this list, it seems very short. I hope I will be able to add to it.

Gratefulness

2009-12-03T20:57:00.002-06:00

I have been following a friend's blog on gratitude this year, which has made me think of the things I am grateful for this year. Here is ten that I thought of (in no particular order):

1. I am grateful that I have jobs right now.
2. I am grateful for my friends and family.
3. I am grateful that we were not hurt in our car accident last December.
4. I am grateful for health.
5. I am grateful for music.
6. I am grateful that we are moving down the adoption list, albeit slowly.
7. I am grateful for warm houses on cold winter nights.
8. I am grateful that God made this beautiful planet for us to live on.
9. I am grateful for pets.
10. I am grateful that our child may actually have a Colombian-American cousin, if my sister-in-law marries her boyfriend.

New Business

2009-11-07T18:11:00.004-06:00

As we look forward to the adoption of our child, I am thinking about how I can be home more when our child is here. To that end, I am attempting to start an online business. I really don't want to say much about it because I don't even have a website up yet (although I do have someone creating one for me).

My ideal online store would sell products that are environmentally friendly, such as bicycles, bicycle trailers, hammocks, and camping stuff. I will probably have this set up by Christmas, but since these things are for summer activities, I don't know how well they will sell. I decided to try it for a year and see what happens. My business name is Ecogreen Enterprises and my website domain is www.staygreenlivegreen.com. I'll put up more information later about it.

Just Love Coffee

2009-10-29T20:54:00.002-05:00

I just posted a link to Just Love Coffee, a Fair Trade online store. When you purchase from them, a portion of the proceeds will go to our adoption fund. If you are not familiar with Fair Trade, it is a practice where the coffee growers get a fair share of their earnings from what they grow, rather than a big corporation getting a large chunk. Every time you buy a bag, you will be helping an orphan find a home!

Wait List

2009-10-24T21:07:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, we got an email with our new number on the wait list. We are now at 158. Last April, we were at 196. In July, 174. I figured out that this means that an average of 6 children between the ages of 3-5 are being adopted by families each month. For us, it looks like this means another 2+ years of waiting.

I am getting very tired of waiting. I usually consider myself a patient person, but the waiting is getting old. When we started this process, we were told the wait time between approval and referral was 18-24 months. By the time we got our approval, the time had stretched to 24-30 months of waiting. If things continue to slow down, it looks like we may actually be in for a 42 month wait (or longer).

At times, I think we ought to look into another program, but the process of changing is too complicated (we would have to start a new dossier, etc).

It is moments like this when I wonder if God's promise of good and not harm really applies to this adoption.

Seeing the Holy in the Ordinary

2009-10-10T15:23:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, I went to a retreat. One of the speakers, named Holly, talked about changing our lives by how we see out ordinary tasks.

What can we do that is big for Jesus? As North American Christians, we have a longing to do something big, but we get bogged down in the tiny details of life. When we do think about big problems, it is also easy for us to become numb to the horrors around the world. This can be called “spiritual leprosy”. How can we change the world?

An important way to change the world and shed our “spiritual leprosy” is to see the sacredness in small things. As Holly said “God wastes nothing offered to God in love”. Even the littlest things can become big things for God. For example, Esther gave a dinner for the king and Haman, and that dinner ended up saving the entire Jewish population. Ruth, by obeying her mother-in-law, became the ancestor of kings and our Saviour.

God likes ordinary things and uses them. God chooses to meet us with bread (communion), water (baptism), and wood (the Cross). If we don’t see God in the small, ordinary things, we won’t see God. When we practice seeing the sacredness of the ordinary, such as doing laundry or washing dishes, we may begin to see eternity in our everyday lives.

I have been trying to change my focus in doing the small things, but it is difficult. As I dusted this morning, I tried to see our house as our child will see it. I have been saying "hi" to people on campus, and praying for them. I won't be around to see the result of that greeting and prayer, but I hope it will be a positive one.

Middle-age Parenting

2009-09-20T19:48:00.002-05:00

Most of my acquaintances who are my age now have children who are in school. Here I am, anticipating becoming a mother at age 44. Most of the time, I am content with the life God ha planned for me. Then, I hear people my age talk about their children and another feeling emerges. I'm not sure if it is simply discontent, or wishful thinking, or maybe even jealousy. I just try to hold onto God's promise of a plan for my life.

I am not doubting that I will be a good mother. I just wish I could have this experience with people my own age.

The positive side of this thinking is that I do not have any regrets about the way I have lived the last twenty years. I am content in that.

Sad News (for us)

2009-09-17T07:23:00.002-05:00

During this adoption journey, I have tried to find something positive in every situation. I don't know if it has affected me except it has made me feel more contented in most things.

We learned yesterday that our local adoption social worker is quitting. It has come as a surprise. So, what is the positive here? Well, this social worker is actually our second one since we started, so I believe we will be able to make the adjustment smoothly.

Angel Story

2009-09-12T22:04:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year, I wrote about an experience that my friend and I had. It was published in a different form in the May/June issue of Angels on Earth. I want to share it here.

On a crisp day last October, I met my friend Betty at the local bus station. We approached the Chicago-bound bus, she in her wheelchair, me pulling her suitcase. Ticket in hand, she went to the driver who took one look at her wheelchair and said “I can’t take you, this bus isn’t accessible”. Our hearts sank.

In a state of shock, Betty said it was and proceeded to show the driver where the lift was. His next sentence was “I can’t take you, I don’t know how to do this” (meaning the lift). This was his mantra over the next 40 minutes, while Betty and I cajoled him into calling Dispatch and getting directions. While the driver paced and Betty sank into hopelessness, I started praying for a way for Betty to get on the bus.

After 10 minutes of arguing, my prayers were answered in three college-age passengers. Two of them figured out how to move the seat forward to make room for the chair. The third figured out how to get the lift mechanism to work. They worked diligently, putting their hearts into finding a way for Betty to get on the bus. In the end the mechanism was faulty and her chair couldn’t get on the lift, but the students continued to help. One student lifted Betty onto the bus (she cannot step on by herself), and the other two lifted the 500-pound chair and suitcase into the luggage compartment. As I watched the bus pull away, I was filled with relief that Betty was on her way and gratitude that angels had indeed been present.

A Brief History of our Adoption Story

2009-09-06T18:06:00.001-05:00

In September 2003, we decided to try to adopt a child. We selected Catholic Charities and decided to do a domestic adoption of an infant. I told Laurence we would try for two years and after that time, I wanted to go the international route. Well, after two years with birth mothers not selecting us, we went to a seminar on international adoption.

The seminar was a Catholic Charities and was held by someone from Commonwealth Adoptions International. When she talked about the Colombia program, both Laurence and I thought it was the program for us. At the time, the wait period was only two years, which sounded good. Also, our church has a sister church in Colombia, so that connection was there. We told our social worker the news. What we did not realize, however, was the amount of time it took to process everything the Colombian government wanted. The Dossier was to include:

A home study
I600A form (which lasts 18 months)
USCIS Fingerprints (which last 15 months)
Physical for both of us (which is good for one year)
Psychological evaluation (which is good for two years)

It took us another year and a half to get this all complete, then the Colombian
government said I was too old to adopt an infant, they wanted to put us in the 3-5 year old group. We prepared an amendment to the home study and finally in March 2008 our approval came!

In July, 2008, we were told that our adoption agency was closing. We were transferred to Gladney Adoption, and it has been a pleasure to work with them. They give us monthly updates via tele-conference and our case worker calls us every month or so. We also have to do 10 hours of training to be in compliance with the Hague Accreditation.

We have spent the last 18 months waiting, raising money, praying, and dreaming about our child. We have had to update our fingerprints and I600A once each and will get our fingerprints done once again at the end of September. We anticipate the referral of our child next September (2010).

2009-08-30T18:45:00.000-05:00

I might occasionally let you know what I am reading. Currently, I am reading Tony Hillerman's "The Sinister Pig".

Why I am Blogging

2009-08-30T17:49:00.000-05:00

I am new to blogging. I always thought I had nothing important to say. Then, on Thursday, I read something that made me want to start a blog. It is written by Ariane de Bonvoisin and was published in the September 2009 issue of Guideposts. It says, in part:

"How do you see yourself?...There is a certain comfort in holding on to the identity that's defined you for years. But when change happens, what God is asking you to do is to go with the change...Look at what you're going through right now...as a opportunity. You're being given the chance to see yourself differently, to develop more courage, more resiliency, more faith...whatever you need to make the most of your life's journey". (page 71)

After reading that, I thought, "wow, maybe I can start a blog".

I do not know how often I will post anything, hopefully at least once a week. I want to record our journey to adoption and also maybe add some ideas about thinking positively.